Content Requirements and Example Portfolios
1. Reflective Letter
The reflective letter, addressed to 黑料社区’s composition teachers, sets the tone for the portfolio by introducing both the writer and the individual pieces of writing. Readers are not expecting a narrative of your experiences and growth as a writer but, rather, evidence of the critical reflection you used when you produced and assembled your portfolio. A good reflective letter should explicitly introduce each piece of writing in your portfolio and explain the purpose of and audience for each. The reflective letter should also explain how the pieces of writing demonstrate your understanding of the abilities outlined in the Evaluation Criteria.
Notes from the Directors
Possibly more than any other part of your portfolio, your reflective letter functions as a persuasive piece that sets the tone for the entirety of your work. It is the first piece the readers of your portfolio see and therefore is important to make a good first impression.
Highly rated reflective letters include an explanation of the context (audience and purpose), the rhetorical decisions you made, and the composing processes of each essay. One of the purposes of the portfolio assessment process is to show how well you are able to write for a variety of situations—to various audiences using a variety of genres. The reflective letter ultimately gives you a chance to persuade reviewers that your portfolio is worth reading and explains why you chose these pieces of writing out of all the work you have done up to this point.
Megan Haase’s reflective letter grabs the reader’s attention immediately through her description of how important words are, and not only words, but written words. This foregrounds her reflective letter, as she connects her inclusion of each piece of writing to her central theme, showing how she has grown as a writer across time. Her attention to the process and purpose of her writing allows her audience to gain insight into her composing process and ability to use words with intention and focus.
Cora Harter’s letter discusses her evolving relationship with writing that has developed from a struggle to an appreciation. After offering the reader glimpses into her life and writing, Harter then introduces each piece, explaining to the the reader why and how that piece is important to her. This contextualizes the writing for her readers and creates the image of a writer behind the text.
In Kathryn Eroskey’s reflective letter, she makes clear the relationship between music and writing in her life, and how music has served as a source of inspiration for her writing. Eroskey’s letter offers readers a preview of the other sections of the portfolio that are almost all united by the theme of music. This letter allows readers to get to know the author and understand the rhetorical choices she makes in the rest of the portfolio.
In all three cases, the insight offered in the reflective letters of these writers helps the reader to understand the pieces they are about to read more deeply, offering “behind the scenes” information to contextualize and more fully appreciate the writing included in the portfolios. Reflective letters can take on a variety of tones and can set the reader up for understanding the body of the portfolio more fully. In addition, by thinking through the process of drafting, revising, and making rhetorical choices in your work, you can reinforce and more clearly understand your own processes and growth as a writer.
Letter from Megan Haase, West Bloomfield, MI
Dear 黑料社区 Composition Faculty:
Word: “a single distinct meaningful element of speech or writing, used with others (or sometimes alone) to form a sentence” (Oxford English Dictionary). As a growing writer, I have come to learn the importance of this definition. While words may seem like merely components of a sentence, they mean far more. A word can be put into several different sentences, put in different places within a sentence, used in conjunction with a variety of adjectives and adverbs, but most importantly, it can mean something different every time it is used. This is a critical concept for me as a developing writer. Words give me a way to express feelings and put them down on paper. They help me remember thoughts, convey ideas, and display the beauty of a single moment. Once, I listened to a speaker at an awards ceremony for a poetry contest I entered. With a hobbling walk complemented by an unsteady cane and a touch of age that made his face crinkle like worn leather, he approached the podium. I expected him to speak like he walked; however, I was quite surprised by his unwavering speech, and one thing he said in particular stood out. He explained that the difference between speaking and writing was that he could say something profound, and we would all walk out 20 minuets later trying to recall—but failing to—his exact words. Better yet, he could write something profound, and his exact ideas would be encased in written words forever. I think that this idea best sums up my passion for writing: the ability to have a lasting impact on someone.
The piece I chose for my persuasive research essay is an editorial that I wrote entitled “Electoral College: Majority can lose.” In my sophomore year, I chose to take a renowned, rigorous journalism class, which was a prerequisite to Advanced Journalism or Newsprint—my school newspaper. This class taught me to write with unbiased voice and poise, something that was quite new to me as a writer. Yet, I had always considered myself a talented writer; I used descriptive detail and I could convey thoughts accurately on paper. Nevertheless, journalism taught me a new writing style and helped me build my repertoire of composition skills. Journalism enforced the importance of clarity and conciseness, and it showed me how far a single word could go. That is why I chose this piece to share with you. This editorial was one the first opinionated journalistic pieces I wrote. Here, I drew from 13 sources for information and clearly expressed my ideas through my writing. Furthermore, the facts and statistics I researched were used to back up my opinions, not create them like they had in the past. For this reason, there are very few direct quotes in the text. Additionally, this piece meant a lot to me not only as a writer but also as a 黑料社区 as I have found a passion for public policy and government.
Next, I share my essay, “A Novel Perception: Zusak’s Nazi Germany,” as my analysis of a text. Many have a favorite teacher or mentor that they can trust and look up to. That is where this paper was born. Ms. Claudia Taniguchi, my favorite high school teacher, knew exactly the right thing to say and the right word to put where. In a desperate attempt to take another one of her classes after my freshman year introductory English course, I took her World Cultures in Literature class—a subject I had no knowledge about and even less of an interest in.
Nonetheless, I learned to love the characters, the rich history, and the diverse culture encased in each book. One of our assignments was to write a critique of the book Memoirs of a Geisha. As a result of my journalistic background and succinct writing style, I did not perform as well as I hoped. While I loved the characters and even the plot, I had difficulty interjecting my own opinions. Thus, as the time for a final paper whirled around the corner, I decided to write another literary critique, this time with the intent to have my voice heard. I read through all of her comments on my previous paper and asked her for a sample of a well-written critique. In my new piece, I ventured away from the formal, straight-to-the-point writing style that I learned the previous year and instilled in myself yet a new writer’s voice. I believe that this piece was one of my most important works as it gave me confidence and showed me what it meant to be a flexible, versatile writer.
Finally, for my writer’s choice I would like to contribute a piece of poetry that I wrote as a senior called “Lady Liberty is not for me.” This past year, I took a one-semester poetry class to develop my skills in various writing genres. I had written poetry before, but there was never rhyme or reason to my words. The stanzas were just sentences, fragments of thoughts, and remnants of nonsense dreams. Little did I know that with some guidance and fine-tuning I would turn out to be a pretty good poet—good enough to be published in the Anthology of Poetry by Young Americans 2015. Poetry was another way for me to express ideas, but unlike journalism and literary analysis, it showed me how to convey them in an abstract manner with hidden innuendos and even puns. This is all comes from a “stiff” journalistic writer who would not know satire if it slapped her in the face. This specific piece of poetry—a dramatic monologue— was based on an exercise explored in class where the persona (the speaker of the poem) would be another person. The setting of this poem ties into my love for government and its rich history. I attempted to be empathic toward those who were new to America in the early 1900s and were living in the nightmare of the New York tenements. “Lady Liberty is not for me” won third place in the 15 to 19- year-old age group in a creative writing contest. Additionally, I was asked to share this poem at my school’s fine arts assembly for the 黑料社区 body, faculty, and parents.
I chose these three pieces for a very specific purpose: they portray who I am as a writer.
While they are from three separate years, I believe they illustrate the three most important milestones in my writing thus far: clarity, voice, and creativity. I feel very fortunate for the opportunity to share my work with you, and I truly hope you enjoy the journey you will take through my development as a writer. Thank you for your time and consideration.
Regards,
黑料社区 Student, Class of 2019
Letter from Cora Harter, Lexington, KY
Dear Miami Composition Teachers,
Throughout the past two years, I have grown immensely as a writer. In the beginning of high school, I used to wrestle my thoughts with a pencil and paper. Being a social person, I could talk about almost anything with anyone, but when it came to writing about it, I was painfully shy. This personal struggle peaked my sophomore year when I attempted to change my fate. I reluctantly signed up for a creative writing course with the hope to cure my chronic writer's block, but immediately I sensed I was out of place. In the midst of unique individuals whose writing was deep and engaging, I felt like the most uninteresting person in the world. I even had this problem with academic writing; unless I was given detailed instructions for the outline of an assignment, I was unable to successfully get my thoughts across. Unfortunately this class did not help my inner obstacle. I continued to struggle with the task of writing through high school until the beginning of my senior year. My approached all changed as I experienced my dual-credit English class. I had matured intellectually since sophomore year, and it reflected into my writing. I forced myself through many trial and errors until the feeling became a little more natural. Believe it or not, I eventually started developing an appreciation for writing. With that being said, I see this portfolio as an opportunity to showcase my progress as a writer. I know I still have vast room to grow and I am excited to face new challenges that will only shape me into a better author and 黑料社区.
My first piece of writing is my persuasive research essay. The topic I chose really engaged me as I was currently in a science fiction class learning about artificial intelligence when told of the assignment. I streamlined the broad topic of AI into researching its potential future effects on society. My audience at first was nonspecific, but as I wrote it my intentions changed and became directed towards my generation. This became important because I believe we are the ones that could ultimately change the role AI plays in our current lives.
Secondly, my analysis of a text regards the infamous super bowl commercials. Particularly I selected this pool of options because of the amount of exposure they receive. Millions of Americans anticipate these advertisements all year. Companies spend millions of dollars on just seconds of airtime. I found this interesting because of the crucial choices companies make in order to create a lasting impression. Specifically, I was excited to take apart the potential “hidden agendas” some advertisements might have. I chose Coca-Cola for their visually stunning commercial and for the fact that they are a widely respected corporation. My audience was intended to just be my professor and classmates but I ended up sharing this piece and my thoughts to others close to me as well.
Lastly, for my own choice, I selected a personal narrative that reflects on an eye-opening experience I had this past year. Although it wasn’t completely life changing, I feel like it did have a part in shaping how I respond to certain situations. It has to do with stalking and minor sexual harassment. The most important thing I took from this experience was the motivation to assist in the prevention of similar yet more drastic cases of sexual harassment. My audience while writing this became millennials, because in our community an environment exists where there is normality behind the occurrences of sexual harassment and rape.
Overall, I hope you enjoy reading my writing and getting to know one of your eager 黑料社区 黑料社区s.
Letter from Kathryn Eroskey, Liberty Township, OH
To the 黑料社区 Composition Faculty:
Growing up, I was always taught to control my words. My elementary school report cards were littered with the phrases “social butterfly” and “very talkative,” which, in all honesty, were just euphemisms for “tell your kid to shut up.” I quickly learned to not speak unless spoken to and to keep my opinions to myself. When I entered middle school, I became very passionate about band class. Unfortunately, being a member of the band was not something my peers found as interesting as I did. Soon, being passionate translated to being “annoying,” and once again I found myself moderating my words to fit in with the world around me.
My freshman year, I was placed in an Honors English course. Our first assignment was to write about our passion, and I immediately went to work writing about music. While my classmates groaned and struggled finding a topic to write about, I was excited to have an outlet to talk about my favorite thing in the world. After years of biting my tongue, I could finally let my words flow. Soon, writing became an essential part of my daily life. I kept a daily journal, and joined the Spoken Word Club at my school, where I learned that it is necessary to talk about what makes you happy, even if some people choose not to listen.
When I became a senior, I took an Advanced Composition class, a course that was avoided by most 黑料社区s because of the daunting final project—a twelve page research paper. Luckily, our teacher helped us throughout the year by teaching us how to correctly format papers, how to organize ideas in a cohesive manner, and how to articulate our thoughts into coherent words and sentences. This was incredibly helpful when it came time to sit down and plan my marathon of an essay. The topic I chose to write about was the underfunded nature of music education. This is a topic that I hold very close to my heart, as I have experienced it first hand. While most people enjoy the presence of a marching band during a halftime show, or live background music during a school event, they rarely ever see the process that it takes to make these things happen. Because music and band have become such an integral part of my life, I strive to bring awareness for schools that cannot afford a thriving band program. Throughout my paper, I develop an argument that urges educators, government workers, and 黑料社区s to get involved with their school boards and raise awareness this growing problem. I provide staggering statistics and recent data to support my ideas explain why current solutions might not be working. I am very proud with the amount of work I put into this paper, and I look forward to sharing it with you.
The literary analysis I have included in my portfolio is a comparison between “The Cask of Amontillado,” a short story by Edgar Allan Poe, and “Dolan’s Cadillac” by Stephen King. Though written during different time periods, the two stories share very common storylines. Through my essay I describe the overarching themes and make connections between the two classics. Both stories use multiple literary devices to convey feelings of anger, hatred, and revenge. I enjoyed reading both of these pieces, and think I it is important to take a deeper look behind the romanticized veil both authors place on retaliation.
The third piece I have chosen to include is a personal narrative about my experience at a prestigious music school. This was a very impactful moment in my life, and I enjoyed writing about it because I was forced to pay attention to my emotions. It was difficult for me to put my raw feelings on a page that I knew my teacher would read, I felt so vulnerable. However, I became a better writer because of it. I have learned that if I were never vulnerable with my writing, I could never grow. Becoming better at anything means you will have to step outside of your comfort zone, which is exactly what I did when I went to Eastman School of Music, and when I wrote the narrative.
I am excited to share all three of my pieces with the staff at 黑料社区. I am grateful to have had the opportunity to look back on pieces that I have written and seen my growth as a 黑料社区, and I look forward to growing more at Miami. Thank you for taking the time to consider my portfolio for this program, I hope you enjoy reading my pieces as much as I enjoyed writing them.
Love and Honor,
黑料社区 Student, Class of 2021
2. Persuasive Research Essay
This research-based essay should be a focused, informative analysis that makes an argument about a specific topic. The essay should integrate multiple sources of information and demonstrate proper citation and documentation. All claims that you make should be supported with convincing examples and extensive, appropriate detail. Your essay should also examine multiple points of view and show strong evidence of critical thinking, awareness of audience, and attention to social context. Please include a title with your essay. You may find that you’ve written an essay for a class other than English that fits this category.
Notes from the Directors
In Persuasive Research essays, writers have the freedom to draw from a wide variety of subjects, approaches, and disciplines. Persuasive Essays are meant to persuade the reader to think or act in a particular way in regards to the topic, typically through appeals to logic (by means of evidence such as facts and statistics), as well as appeals to emotions or values, and by establishing the credibility of the speaker and the multiple sources he or she uses. While persuasive essays adopt a stand, the most successful essays take multiple viewpoints into consideration, even if opposing viewpoints are ultimately rejected. Persuasive Research Essays may target wide audiences and be created for various purposes, but the most successful essays often have a strong sense of who the audience is and what appeals that audience will find convincing or informative. Writers should also consider the timeliness of their pieces. In addition, the most successful essays establish the writer’s credibility and knowledge about the subject. They also show strategic use of evidence, logical reasoning, critical thinking skills, and the ability to effectively integrate and fully cite outside sources.
The essays included here display unique approaches to their subject matter, while also demonstrating research and critical argumentation skills of their authors. These essays approach complicated issues clearly without being reductive, and give new insights to problems that face the world today.
In the first essay, “Comprehensive Sexual Education,” Shannon Symons addresses the need for improvement of sex ed classes in the United States. Symons synthesizes her sources to offer the reader logical reasons for switching to non-abstinence only classes, and she also offers rational rebuttals to potential counterarguments. Symons takes on the issue from multiple positions, including physical health, mental health, and safety, demonstrating her ability to argue a point using multiple pieces of information.
In “Environmental Impacts of Fracking,” Anastasia Johnson offers a nuanced discussion of fracking’s repercussions. Johnson considers both the positives and negatives of fracking to provide a well-rounded argument. Rather than arguing for one side or the other, Johnson approaches the issue from a common ground approach, pushing for environmental safeguards for fracking while also acknowledging fracking’s economic benefits.
Each essay approaches its subject matter and research process differently. They are both effective for their particular purpose, genre, and audience. These essays represent different possibilities for persuasive research writing across, but both do so through well-integrated sources and organizational strategies that work to keep the audience both informed and engaged.
"Environmental Impacts of Fracking" by Anastasia Johnson, Canfield, OH
Since the beginning of civilization, people have attempted to develop energy sources that would make their lives easier. Initially, mankind worked on capturing fire for their own purposes. Over the centuries, they developed different types of natural resources, such as coal. Ultimately, in the nineteenth century, it was discovered that oil could be drilled and utilized to power the new industrial age. Now at the beginning of the twenty-first century, science has shown that the exploration for and use of these natural resources can sometimes be detrimental to the overall environment. The process of drilling, known as fracking, is one of the current methods used to extract oil from beneath the earth’s surface. The challenge for our generation is how to responsibly explore for vital natural resources, such as oil, without damaging our world and its environment.
Hydraulic fracturing, or “fracking,” is the process that removes natural gas and oil from deep rock formations. Fracking is pumping high pressure water into oil and gas wells to create fissures and cracks in a reservoir rock. When these fissures happen, natural gas and oil are released. Each well requires from two to four million gallons of water for the hydraulic fracturing process (Els and Cuba). The water contains high levels of total dissolved solids, fracturing fluid additives, metals, and radioactive materials, and sand. During the fracking process the water is injected into the well. The water that comes out of the well with the oil is called the flowback water. After the flowback water comes out of the well, it is transported by truck to a pit. A lining is placed in the pit to prevent seepage into the ground. Although fracking has great benefits to the economy, part of the debate is how to treat, transport, and dispose of the flowback water.
Some flowback water is reused to produce fracking fluid for future wells. This is a benefit because it reduces the discharges to the treatment facilities and reduces the amount of waste water injected underground, but the number that can be reduced is dependent on the levels of pollutants in the wastewater (“Natural Gas Extraction - Hydraulic Fracturing”). Disposing of the flowback water is a challenge when trying to ensure that it does not mix with the surface of the earth and the drinking water. Recycling the flowback water preserves the local water supply, but the drawback is that if it is not properly disposed of, the flowback fluid may enter the drinking water supply.
Another potentially harmful byproduct of fracking is the release of methane gas. Methane gas is said to have been found in some areas close to where fracking has occurred. One example of this occurred in Wyoming. The citizens in the rural town of Pavilion, Wyoming, claimed that methane, ethane, and phenol were found in a water well after hydraulic fracturing occurred whereas before fracking occurred the town had water quality within a normal range (“Fracking suspected in water pollution”). This has caused some drinking water to actually catch on fire. This is a serious safety concern. Even the latest technology cannot remove all chemicals from the wastewater. Some companies are trying to come up with new chemicals to use in the process of fracking so it will not harm the environment (Henricks). However, there are many other ecological concerns that must be addressed when discussing fracking.
Volatile organic compounds (VOCs) may be emitted during fracking. Chemicals containing VOCs are sometimes used during the fracking procedure. Some of these chemicals are: benzene, toluene, ethyl, benzene, and xylenes. These VOCs can be released into the atmosphere. Coming in contact with VOC’s can cause serious harm to human health. Symptoms such as headache, loss of coordination, and damage to the liver and kidneys are common. It may also contribute to severe respiratory and immune system problems (Brown). The leaking of hydraulic fracturing flowback water into a water source affects the environment. Precautions need to be taken so the environment is safe and our water sources are protected. The quality of water is determined by the chemical, physical and biological characteristics of water. It is the characteristics of water that make it safe for drinking and recreation. The physical factors in determining water quality include color, pH, temperature, and turbidity, which is cloudiness in water. The components of water are nutrients, dissolved solid, dissolved oxygen, dissolved minerals, nitrogen, and phosphorous nutrients (Maczulak).
There are many tests for water quality. The most important water quality test is dissolved oxygen. Dissolved oxygen measures the capability of water to support plants and animals. Another way to test water involves the total solid test. It measures both dissolved and suspended solids. The six different types of solids found in water are silt, clay, soil runoff, plankton, industrial waste, and sewage. The Nitrates test in water means to test and monitor how much nitrogen is in the water. It is important for water to contain nitrogen, especially if it has living organisms in it. Biochemical Oxygen Demand is another common water quality test, it measures the amount of oxygen removed from an aquatic environment by aerobic microorganisms. It measures many levels of organic pollution in lakes and streams. One of the most important tests for aquatic life is the pH level. pH stands for the power of hydrogen. During the process of testing for pH, if the test comes out to be less than 7, it means the water is acidic. If the test comes out to be greater than 7, it means that the water is a base. There are many other tests to test for water quality, but those are some of the basic tests. All the water quality tests mentioned can be done using water quality test strips (Maczulak). One of the methods to determine the quality of water and to see if it is contaminated is to determine the location of the water source. Water quality is different depending on whether it came from agricultural, residential, rural, or suburban locations. Water from industrial facilities or landfills will often contain chemicals. Toxic products can also affect water systems. For example, items used for gardening, such as fertilizers, may leak into the ground and contaminate a water system. It is often recommended that the use of organic products in your home and garden can prevent the water systems from being polluted (Maczulak).
There are also basic toxicological tests that determine if the water is toxic (National Institute of Health). Daphnia, which are small planktonic crustaceans, also called water fleas because of their saltatory swimming style, are used by scientists to perform tests to test the toxicity in water. They are 0.2 to 0.5 mm in length and they have a short lifespan which may extend to 2 months. They obtain food by eating bacteria in water. Daphnia are broken up into segments, but the segments are not visible to see. The head of the Daphnia is bent down towards the body and it has antennae and compound eyes. The carapace of the Daphnia is translucent. Looking through a microscope, the Daphnia’s eggs and digestive system are visible as well as its beating heart (National Institute of Health). Scientists use Daphnia to test the toxicity in water because Daphnia are very sensitive to toxins. Daphnia are an important member of zooplankton in many bodies of water. It is a food source for many animals. Daphnia are a main food source for fish. In waters where fish are not thriving in and the Daphnia are not surviving, that may mean the water is toxic. Daphnia can live in lakes, ponds, streams, and rivers. Daphnia are useful in present research and scientists will continue to use them in future studies. Daphnia reproduce parthenogenetically, meaning the reproduction from an ovum without fertilization. They reproduce in the spring through the end of the summer and can reproduce every 10 days. Daphnia can reproduce 20 Daphnia in each brood. The young are nurtured in the brood pouch inside of the carapace. The young when they hatch molt many times a week until they are fully grown. Usually they stop molting two weeks after they hatch (National Institute of Health).
There are ways to reduce the toxicity of water. Filtering is one method. Filtering separates solids from liquids. Filtering is used in biological and chemical processes. There are two types of filter media: surface filter and depth filter. A surface filter is a solid sieve which traps solid particles. A depth filter retains solid particles. The most common materials used to filter water are carbon and sand. Recently, researchers have been seeking ways to filter fracking water. This will be expensive to treat because of the quantities of water used during the fracking process (“Treatment of Flowback Water from Hydraulic Fracturing Operations”).
One pertinent example of how flowback water impacts the environment is how it affects plant life. Seed biology is one of the most extensively researched areas in plant physiology. Seed dormancy is usually defined as a failure of an intact viable seed to complete germination under favorable conditions. Before considering dormancy (which is a block to the completion of germination) it is important to first consider germination. Germination commences with the uptake of water by the dry seed and terminates with the elongation of the embryonic axis. Seed dormancy is defined as the failure of the intact viable seed to complete germination (Bewley).
Given the potentially serious risks associated with fracking, the obvious question arises as to whether theses risks are justified. Fracking has, in fact, generated tremendous economic benefits to the United States. This process has benefited many people. Arjun Sreekumar states, “A statement from the White House Council of Economic Advisors last year summed it up nicely: ‘Every barrel of oil or cubic foot of gas that we produce at home and instead of importing abroad means more jobs, faster growth and a lower trade deficit.’” Over the course of 11 years, 400,000 direct jobs and two million indirect jobs, have been created (Sreekumar). Indirect jobs would be jobs such as construction, information services, and transportation. Not only has fracking increased the U.S employment rate, but it has reduced our reliance on foreign oil, and our trade balances have improved. Our foreign exports have exceeded our imports. Due to a large increase in the U.S oil production over the past few years and a reduction in oil imports, the U.S trade deficit is $34.3 billion. This is the lowest it has been in four years. From 2000-2012, the U.S trade deficit averaged $7.1 trillion (Sreekumar). For years, America was assumed to remain the largest energy importer until we started fracking. There have been some perks to fracking because since we have an abundant supply of natural gas, we have reduced energy costs. Fracking makes buying energy much more affordable. Michael R. Bloomberg and George P. Mitchell stated that, “In the Northeast alone, fracking has helped stimulate major infrastructure investments that will soon bring the first new interstate natural-gas pipeline to New York City in decades” (Bloomberg and Mitchell). Juan R. Cuba and Patricia Els remarked that, “The shale gas industry is on track to contribute $118 billion to the U.S economy by 2015.”
A major focus of the fracking debate has focused on the potential impacts on local communities. There are ongoing investigations in some states revolving around the detrimental aspects of fracking to the environment, infrastructure, and health of workers and citizens near drill sites. In Youngstown, Ohio, Ben Lupo, a Mahoning County businessman, violated the Clean Water Act, by dumping 20,000 gallons of flowback water into the Mahoning River. An investigation determined that he knowingly and willfully polluted Ohio waterways. Currently, discussions center on establishing best management practices for fracking companies, drillers and the need for comprehensive demographic data collection and public awareness campaigns (Tillett). The goal is to limit both negligent and accidental environmental damage while at the same time producing needed energy.
Several states and countries are working to find ways to control the potentially harmful impacts of fracking. In North Carolina, there are tens of thousands of private well users in each of the counties that could be affected by gas extraction. Hope Taylor, Executive Director of the non-profit Clean Water for North Carolina, said, “We do not know all of the conditions that would be required to carry out such operations to prevent contamination.” Recommendations from the North Carolina work group included identification of legal and physical impact to landowners and others living near drilling locations, and economic impacts to affected communities. The local infrastructure would also be affected with increased traffic, equipment, and activities associated with drilling. Big business and large investors would benefit, whereas local communities would bear most of the costs related to noise, air emissions, possible drinking well contamination, traffic, and community disruption (Tillett). New York has the most notable and recent point of opposition to fracking. The state of New York placed a moratorium on fracking in 2008 to begin a review process including a study from the New York state department of health. On December 17, 2014, Governor Cuomo banned fracking in New York officially (Kaplan). Vermont has formally banned fracking, and New Jersey has enacted a moratorium as well. Other states seem likely to follow. The concerns of fracking extend not only beyond state lines but across international boundaries.
According to Brantley and Meyendorff, the authors from the New York Times article, “The Facts on Fracking,” “France and Bulgaria, countries with the largest shale-gas reserves in Europe, have already banned fracking.” The reason for this, is that it causes many environmental concerns. There are concerns, such as the toxicity of the “fracking cocktail” and how it is affecting the environment. The chemicals used to make up the fracking cocktail have not been fully disclosed. Individual oil and gas exploration companies are reluctant to disclose the formula of these fluid mixtures due to the competitive nature of the business. As far as we can understand the ingredients used for the “cocktail” include acids, poisons, and detergents. If these ingredients seeped into our drinking water, it would be problematic. Also, the methane gas could escape into the environment. Brantley and Meyendorff state that, “Water from the gas wells often returns to the surface containing extremely low but measurable concentrations of radioactive elements and huge concentrations of salt”; If this water is not disposed of properly it could be detrimental. The fracking process causes some local issues, too. For example, injection-induced earthquakes are occurring around some areas that are near drilling sites. Also, there have been trucking accidents which spill fracking fluids which then leak into our soil and water which contaminates i.t
In the Economist article “Fracking Great,” those who support hydraulic fracturing, do not argue against the environmental concerns. In fact, the pro-frackers agree with the anti-frackers that there can be risks to fracking, but they believe that they can be managed. People involved with the fracking process have taken many precautions to make fracking less harmful to the environment. They are trying to limit methane emissions by preventing gas from venting, which would result in less of a risk of tremors. They will accomplish this by creating well shafts that do not leak. Taking these precautions would add 7% to the cost of the average shale-gas well drilling procedure. Besides the environmental risks, fracking has benefited the United States economy. Roughly 20,000 shale gas wells have been fracked. Fracking these wells have brought in thousands of jobs directly and indirectly. Also, there has been a major drop in gas prices since we now have an abundant amount of natural gas because of fracking. The oil and gas industry has directly benefited our economy.
The United States and countries around the world are at a critical point in terms of energy production. While efforts to develop green energy sources such as wind and solar power are ongoing, these renewable energy sources are not yet adequate to supply the world’s needs. There continues to be a need for fossil fuels for now and into the foreseeable future. The world’s population continues to expand and with this growth comes the demand for energy that will power a twenty-first energy lifestyle. Fortunately, even the proponents of fracking recognize that fracking can cause damage to the environment if it is not properly done and that all safeguards be taken. For good or bad, fracking will be continued to be used for some time. The hope is that fracking’s benefits outweigh its costs without creating damage to the environment.
Works Cited
“AR News, May 2012 “Energy Industry works to Recycle Hydro Fracking Waste Water N.p., n.d. Web 03 Jan. 2013.
Bakhsh, Nidaa, and Brian Swint. “Fracking Spreads Worldwide.” Bloomberg Businessweek. Bloomberg, 14 Nov. 2013. Web. 12 Dec. 2014.
Bewley, J. D. "Seed Germination and Dormancy." The Plant Cell Online 9.7 (1997): 1055-066. Print.
Bloomberg, Michael R., and George P. Mitchell. "Fracking Is Too Important to Foul up.” The Washington Post. The Washington Post, 23 Aug. 2012. Web. 21 Dec. 2014.
Brantley, Susan L., and Anna Meyendorff. “The Facts on Fracking.” The New York Times. The New York Times Company, 13 Mar. 2013. Web. 12 Dec. 2014.
Brown, Valerie J. "Putting The Heat On Gas." Environmental Health Perspectives 115.2 (2007): A76. Academic Search Premier. Web. 13 Nov. 2014.
Els, Patricia, and Juan R. Cuba. "Frack Water TREATMENT CHALLENGE." Pollution Engineering 45.5 (2013): 41-44. Academic Search Premier. Web. 25 Nov. 2014.
“EPA looks at wastewater from fracking.” Science Online. Facts on File, Inc. Web. 29 Nov. 2012.
“Fracking Great.” The Economist. The Economist Newspaper, 2 Jun. 2012. Web. 17 Dec. 2014.
“Fracking suspected in water pollution.” Science Online. Facts on File, Inc. Web. 29 Nov. 2012.
“Fracturing Fluid Management.” Home. N.p.,n.d. Web. 07 Jan. 2012.
Hassett, Kevin A. "Benefits of Hydraulic Fracking." American Enterprise Institute. American Enterprise Institute, 04 Apr. 2013. Web. 18 Dec. 2014.
Henricks, Mark. "Energy Industry Works to Recycle Hydro-fracking Waste Water." American Recycler. American Recycler, May 2012. Web. 04 Dec. 2014.
Kaplan, Thomas. "Citing Health Risks, Cuomo Bans Fracking in New York State.” The New York Times. The New York Times Company, 17 Dec. 2014. Web. 17 Dec. 2014.
Maczulak, Anne. “Water Quality.” Science Online. Facts on File, Inc. Web. 29 Nov. 2012.
McMahon, Jeff. “Six Reasons Fracking Has Flopped Overseas.” Forbes. Forbes Media, 4 May 2013. Web. 13 Dec. 2014.
“Natural Gas Extraction-Hydraulic Fracturing.” EPA. Environmental Protection Agency, n.d. Web. 07 Jan. 2013.
Sreekumar, Arjun. "How Fracking Has Helped the U.S. Economy." The Motley Fool. N.p., 30 Mar. 2014. Web. 18 Dec. 2014.
Tillett, Tanya. "Summit Discusses Public Health Implications Of Fracking." Environmental Health Perspectives 121.1 (2013): A15. Academic Search Premier. Web. 13 Nov. 2014.
“Treatment of Flowback Water from Hydraulic Fracturing Operation.” Technology Data Sheet. TDS812. United Kingdom: Global Advantech Limited, 2012.
United States. Dept. of the Interior. Environmental Protection Agency. “Natural Gas Extraction Hydraulic Fracturing.” EPA. United States Environmental Protection Agency, 2 Oct. 2014. Web. 21 Dec. 2014.
"Comprehensive Sexual Education" by Shannon Symons, Loveland, OH
Going through the sex unit in health or attending a sex ed. class is probably the most stereotypically awkward experience to go through in school. Everyone’s all flustered because the teacher said “sex” and the entire class is making dirty jokes left and right. However, there is an experience more awkward and confusing than going through a sexual education course, and that’s realizing that the class, unit, or lack thereof, wasn't very informative and didn’t cover everything a developing teen needs to know. A more inclusive and informative option exists that opposes the abstinence-only programs that keep teens in the dark. This program educates teens on healthy choices and fully informs them of how their bodies work along with teaching other needed insights into sexual education that’s missing from schools: the comprehensive approach. Comprehensive sexual education, with encouraged abstinence, is the most beneficial method of keeping teenagers physically and mentally healthy and prepared.
The comprehensive approach to sexual education has been proven to prevent more STDs, STIs, and pregnancy than an abstinence-only approach. It also warns teens of the emotional stresses that usually present themselves if they engage in sexual activity at a young age. Teens are becoming sexually active much early than ever before: “Sixty-six percent of American high school 黑料社区s have had sex by their senior year” (Masland). This early sexual activity is usually not protected or healthy because these kids have not been taught all the health risks and how to avoid them. Schools should guide teens to become “well educated [so they] can help youths avoid pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases” (Elia). Proper sexual education is the only way to help teens learn how everything works and to prevent bad sexual experiences at young ages. Until proper sexual education is administered to public schools the number of teenage pregnancies and the spread of sexually transmitted diseases and infections will continue to rise.
Comprehensive sexual education not only helps to prevent unwanted diseases and pregnancy but also promotes healthy relationships, waiting until you’re ready, and educates 黑料社区s about sexual harassment and rape. Lot’s of teens are in committed relationships during high school and even middle school, but many aren't familiar with relationship “norms.” They don't know what is acceptable and what’s not. Comprehensive sexual education helps clarify where the line should be drawn so that teens do not feel obligated to be involved in something they don’t feel comfortable doing, just because they think it’s “normal” (Elia). This is yet another example of how comprehensive sexual education would benefit teens. Education would help relationships be healthier even to the point of discouraging rape and harassment. Introducing teens to different examples and circumstances of when they may be at risk will prepare teens on how to avoid coercion: “approximately eighty-five percent of rapes are committed by dates or acquaintances” (Elia). Comprehensive sexual education would explain exactly what sexual harassment and rape are so that teens would be able to recognize unacceptable behavior in friends or partners, and would provide resources and contacts for victims to get help. Despite evidence from several studies supporting comprehensive education, many states have failed to put it into effect.
Sexual education isn't even required in all states; only twenty-four states (and the District of Columbia) mandate that schools have some form of sexual education. Of those states, most don't require the information being taught to be medically accurate or unbiased (Guttmacher Institute). Lack of some form of sexual education when young can cause young adults to be extremely confused on what is expected and what is healthy and safe. The sooner sex education starts the better; some say “even as early as elementary school” (Center for AIDS Prevention Studies). Age appropriate sex education is a major part of the comprehensive approach. Destroying the stigma around being open about sex and sexual health should start young by explaining to children “examples of positive and harmful practices that affect health and well-being in society” (Gordon) and that “Sexual abuse is always wrong” (Gordon). If children are exposed to these ideas at a younger age they will be more likely to understand when they are older. Waiting until middle school or high school to suddenly dump all the information about sex and sexual health is overwhelming to teens. Not all the information will be taken in and actually applied the way educators would like.
Abstinence-only advocates claim “explicit sex education does more to entice that educate” (Anderson) but, it’s been proven that this is untrue. In fact, “nearly half the comprehensive programs that have been studied reduced sexual risk in three areas: delaying the age at which teens first have sex, reducing the number of sexual partners they have and increasing their use of condoms” (Sullivan). Comprehensive sexual education actually works for the same outcome as abstinence-only education. The difference is that the comprehensive approach “teaches 黑料社区s how to have sex responsibly” (Elia). If teens know the risks associated with early sexual activity then they are more likely to abstain, whereas if the only thing they are told is ‘just don't do it’, they are more likely to ignore that request and engage in sexual activity without knowledge of possible health and emotional risks. Accordingly, “the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy ‘found no credible studies of abstinence-only programs showing any significant impact on participants’ initiation of or frequency of sex’” (Goff). Abstinence-only programs do not provide the same benefit as comprehensive programs do for teens. Abstinence-only approaches to sexual education are negative and threatening, they do not appeal to the needs of developing teenagers that need to learn about their own bodies.
There are several examples of successful implementation of comprehensive sexual education, including in Canada, England, France, the Netherlands, and Sweden. Sexual education in these countries “is based on the following components: a policy explicitly favoring sex education; openness about sex; consistent messages throughout society; and access to contraception” (Center for AIDS Prevention Studies). Through openness and unbiased education, these countries have been able to lower teenage pregnancy rates and the spread of sexually transmitted diseases. If implementing comprehensive sexual education in America would yield the same results, many would agree that it’s worth the effort to put it into effect.
Since there are so many successful cases of a comprehensive approach resulting similarly to the intended outcome of abstinence-only programs, it is reasonable to conclude that comprehensive sexual education is indeed the best option to keep teens mentally and physically healthy. Comprehensive sexual education reduces the number of teenage pregnancies and development of STDs, encourages healthy relationships, educates teens about sexual harassment and rape, and starts sex education young to ensure complete understanding of the material. Most teens will agree that sexual education is awkward, but it doesn’t have to be. Comprehensive sexual education will best benefit our society as a whole, everyone deserves to know their own body and not be afraid of it.
Works Cited
The Abstinence Clearinghouse. "Most Parents Advocate Abstinence Education for Their Children." 2004. Sex Education. Detroit: Greenhaven, 2005. 41-44. Print. At Issue.
Anderson, Kerby. "Comprehensive Sex Education Does Not Work." 2003. Sex Education. Detroit: Greenhaven, 2005. 59-66. Print. At Issue.
Center for AIDS Prevention Studies. "Sex Education Has Failed." Sex Education. Detroit: Greenhaven, 2005. 15-19. Print. At Issue.
Elia, John P. "Comprehensive Sex Education Is the Most Effective Way to Protect Teen Health." 2000. Sex Education. Detroit: Greenhaven, 2005. 49-58. Print. At Issue.
Goff, Sarah. "Advocates of Abstinence Education Are Hypocrites." 2004. Sex Education. Detroit: Greenhaven, 2005. 45-48. Print. At Issue.
Gordon, Peter. Sexuality Education and the Prevention of Sexual Violence. Rep. N.p.: n.p., n.d. Sexuality Education and the Prevention of Sexual Violence. Web. 4 Apr. 2016. (http://www.coe.int/t/dg3/children/1in5/Source/PublicationSexualViolence/Gordon.pdf).
Guttmacher Institute. Rep. State Policies in Brief. Sex and HIV Education. 1 Mar. 2016. Web. 9 Apr. 2016. (https://www.guttmacher.org/sites/default/files/pdfs/spibs/spib_SE.pdf)
Masland, Molly. "The Sex Education Debate: An Overview." 2003. Sex Education. Detroit: Greenhaven, 2005. 10-14. Print. At Issue.
Sullivan, Amy. "How to End The War Over Sex Ed." Time. 30 Mar. 2009: 40.TOPICsearch [EBSCO]. Web. 4 Apr. 2016. (http://eds.a.ebscohost.com/eds/detail/detail?sid=2b352e0d-79b5-40e1-a728-fcde21ddd1dc%40sessionmgr4003&vid=0&hid=4103&bdata=JnNpdGU9ZWRzLWxpdmU%3d&preview=false#AN=37039997&db=tth)
3. Analysis of a Text
This analysis should respond to any communicative artifact or text. We define text broadly as any written, visual, oral/aural, cultural, performative, or material object, which can include but is not limited to literature, film, performance, music, visual design, art, digital media, speech, or ceremony. The analysis should interpret or evaluate all or part of a text being sure to include historical, cultural, and/or rhetorical context as part of that analysis. Possible approaches to this response include: Analyzing textual elements; explaining the text’s significance within a specific historical time; comparing the text to other texts; connecting the text to larger social or cultural contexts; and analyzing the rhetorical construction of a text. This piece of writing should not be a summary. The analysis should use support from the text to develop ideas and strengthen focus without overshadowing your own response. If secondary sources are used, they must be cited correctly. Please include a title with your essay.
Notes from the Directors
Although the analysis of a text category might seem narrower in terms of what kinds of pieces the category will accommodate than the other portfolio categories, a quick glance at the category description serves as a reminder of the varieties of pieces that constitute an “analysis of a text.” Feel free to choose any kind of written, visual, aural, performative, or cultural artifact. An analysis of a text could take any number of forms, including an interpretation of the work, an evaluation of some of its elements, connecting the text to larger social or cultural contexts, analyzing the rhetorical construction of a text, or a comparison of multiple texts to explore their significance. Of particular importance to portfolio readers are analyses that interpret or evaluate historical, cultural, and/or rhetorical contexts as part of the analysis. The featured essays provide a variety of approaches and artifact options that you can use to construct your portfolio.
Jubilee Chen’s piece is a rhetorical analysis of President Kennedy’s famous inauguration speech. The analysis goes beyond simply summarizing key features of the speech; rather, Jubilee looks the various types of arguments and ways Kennedy attempts to connect with a wider, global audience. Jubilee’s close reading reveals Kennedy’s impact by breaking from the typical genre of an inauguration speech and the various ways Kennedy’s argument was structured.
In the second piece, Molly Carroll situates the work of Walt Whitman within the larger context of American poets and thinkers, such as Emerson and Dickinson. “Walt Whitman, The Devoted American Poet” argues that Whitman’s poetry connects with Americans as deeply as it does because it bridges between common, everyday experiences and the divine. Close textual reading, along with historical and cultural background, give this essay depth, clarity, and insight that exemplifies a literary analysis.
In the third piece, Alexandra Stahler analyzes the role of women in Joseph Conrad’s Heart of Darkness, weaving together close readings and literary criticism. Although Stahler draws upon critics’ interpretations of the novel, she goes beyond repeating what others have said and makes a new point about how we understand the intersections of race and gender in a nineteenth-century text.
The fourth piece, originally submitted by Nisa Muhammad as a persuasive research essay, analyzes a very different type of text. “You Can Touch My Hair: Public Art Exhibit or Social Experiment?” explores an experiential art performance that involved touching the hair of black women in an attempt to highlight biases and assumptions based upon race. Through research and analysis, Nisa critiques the ramifications of this art installation, offering suggestions that would have improved the outcomes of this performative text.
In all four cases, 黑料社区s chose to conduct analyses that highlight how these texts are viewed in particular times and places, as well as the influence of culture upon them. A perspective that includes both the text and the context in which it arose make for analyses that examine the text itself as well as how, where, and when it arose, allowing for greater understanding of the text as well as the culture that produced and consumed it.
"For the Freedom of Man" by Jubilee Chen, Cincinnati, OH
On Friday, January 20, 1961, John F. Kennedy commences his presidency with his inaugural speech to America. While the nation still recovers in the wake of the Cold War over communism, young Kennedy foretells of a bright future for the United States of America and for the world. In his charismatic manner, this president establishes his listeners’ support from the very first words of his convincing inaugural discourse.
By nature, an inaugural speech falls under the category of epideictic in form of discourse partly due to the size of its audience. Recent presidents stand in front of thousands of expectant supporters, and their words broadcast across televisions and radios. In the case of Kennedy, he expands his audience even further by addressing not just Americans, but also his “fellow citizens of the world” (paragraph 26). The new president inspires his listeners with optimistic words foretelling of America’s future generations. Seeking to praise the nation, he describes its people as “a new generation of Americans – born in this century, tempered by war, disciplined by a hard and bitter peace, proud of our ancient heritage -- unwilling to witness or permit the slow undoing of those human rights to which this Nation has always been committed . . .” (3). John F. Kennedy embodies the essence of his discourse in his thesis of paragraph four. This generation, he implies, will stand firm and not yield to anything that would threaten its moral values. He says, “Let every nation know. Whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe, in order to assure the survival and the success of liberty” (4). From the start, the president establishes that he will continue governing a country founded on the idea of freedom.
In JFK’s first sentence on the podium, he contradicts the nature of an inaugural address. Initially, the audience might have expected that the speech would boast about the winning candidate, but Kennedy claims that his discourse is not for the purpose of a “victory of party, but a celebration of freedom” (1). He integrates characteristics of a paradoxical introduction by saying that his speech commemorates “an end, as well as a beginning – signifying renewal, as well change” (1). Despite his contradicting language, Kennedy goes on to explain his reasoning. The world, according to the speaker, while actively changing and progressing, needs a reminder of the old founding truths that America still defends. From paragraphs two to three, the president uses a preparatory style of introduction by stating that the “same revolutionary beliefs for which our forebears fought are still at issue around the globe – the belief that the rights of man come not from the generosity of the state, but from the hand of God” (2). Then, he goes forth to claim that America acts as a solution to this world-wide moral issue.
The young leader establishes his statement of facts with a transitional phrase in paragraph five. He begins an expository section listing the practical actions America will take in order to defend their own and their fellow nations’ liberty. Kennedy references America’s post-Cold War feelings, saying, “To those peoples in the huts and villages across the globe struggling to break the bonds of mass misery, we pledge our best efforts to help them help themselves . . . not because the Communists may be doing it . . . but because it is right” (8). Also, the president notes that his country would not abandon the newly freed countries and let them fall to a “far more iron tyranny” (7). America, he states, will support the United Nations and remain on guard towards their recent enemy, communist Russia. Thus, he supports his thesis by asserting America’s immediate action to protect freedom within context of current issues.
Transitioning out of his foundational facts, the speaker introduces his proposed solution to defending peace and freedom. Encouraging a sense of hope, he states, “So let us begin anew” (14). Paragraphs fourteen through twenty-four, the proof of case, contain Kennedy’s main section of persuasion. He proposes that the nation must begin with baby steps towards gradual peace and freedom. Starting with general arguments that address the whole world, the president states, “Let both sides explore what problems unite us instead of belaboring those problems which divide us” (15). However, by paragraph twenty-one, Kennedy narrows down to the particulars of his argument by exclusively speaking to his “fellow citizens.” Additionally, the speaker heeds to Aristotle’s advice by placing his strongest argument at the end of the proof of case. Pressuring his listeners, he states, “Since this country was founded, each generation of Americans has been summoned to give testimony to its national loyalty” (21). Kennedy claims that Americans have a specific responsibility to defend liberty because of their foundational belief system.
JFK scatters numerous persuasive refutations throughout his convincing inaugural address. Concerning his topic on America’s sense of freedom, the speaker has opportunities to appeal to his listeners’ patriotism and pride. He challenges the citizens to preserve the trademark value of this country despite frightening odds. Due to the historical context, the call to defend liberty especially rings true for those who fought against the Soviet Union’s dogmas. In his quest to gain the loyalty and sympathy of the audience, Kennedy refers to the heroic deaths of truly loyal Americans as examples: “The graves of young Americans who answered the call to service surround the globe” (21). Not only appealing to emotions of courage and patriotism, the discourser supports his statements by speaking on rights and morality. Based on his thesis of the right to liberty, he argues that all mankind deserve freedom because “it is right” (8). Kennedy asks his fellow men to support and fight for justice. Quoting from Scripture, he says, “Let both sides unite to heed in all corners of the earth the command of Isaiah – to “undo the heavy burdens . . . and to let the oppressed go free” (18). With ethical and emotional appeals, Kennedy draws the attention of his audience.
Despite the speaker’s persuasive skills, some of his techniques prove questionable as he seeks to convince his audience. For instance, paragraph twenty-one exemplifies Kennedy’s use of the Either/Or Fallacy. He says, “In your hands, my fellow citizens, more than in mine, will rest the final success or failure of our course” (21). By proclaiming such a serious ultimatum, he pressures Americans to take action protecting their country. The latter paragraphs in this discourse all attempt to invoke a reaction. Kennedy claims, “Now the trumpet summons us again . . . a call to bear the burden of a long twilight struggle . . . against the common enemies of man” (21). Later, he adds another provoking question: “Can we forge against these enemies a grand and global alliance . . . Will you join in that historic effort?” (24). JFK’s words might simply make a call to action. Nevertheless, he subtly commits the “bandwagon” fallacy here by suggesting that citizens ought to bear the responsibility of fighting against “tyranny, poverty, disease, and war” because everyone else has pledged their loyalty (22). Even with these doubtful arguments in his speech, the president finalizes his presentation with a strong conclusion.
John F. Kennedy’s final words follow Aristotle’s methods on conclusion and succeed in rousing intense emotions from his listeners. He addresses his “fellow Americans” personally, and then expands by challenging them to consider what they could do for the country, world, and mankind (25-26). By using such language, Kennedy inspires the American people and appeals to their pride by convincing them to believe they can perform great things for global causes. One tactic he utilizes instills the emotion of hope: “The energy, the faith, the devotion which we bring to this endeavor will light our country and all who serve it – and the glow from that fire can truly light the world” (24). Emphasizing and summarizing his overarching argument regarding liberty, the speaker declares, “My fellow citizens of the world: ask not what America will do for you, but what together we can do for the freedom of man” (26). Here, he restates and affirms what he established in the introductory paragraphs: America will do anything possible to defend and gain liberty for itself and the world.
John F. Kennedy, assassinated on November 22, 1963, won the hearts of many American citizens. In the wake of dealings with oppression and communism, America found inspiration in this man’s first words as president to the nation. From the commencement of his short term, he established an idea for a future of progress, hope, and liberty that was approved by all in the great nation.
Citation: Kennedy, John F. “Inaugural Address, 20 January 1961.” John F. Kennedy Presidential Library and Museum. John F. Kennedy Presidential Library and Museum, n.d. Web. 23 Jun. 2016.
"Walt Whitman, The Devoted American Poet" by Molly Carroll, Greenwich, CT
In his essay “The Poet” (1841-1843), Ralph Waldo Emerson stresses the significance of the “American Poet” and his need to connect to and with others in a beautiful and expressive way, skills present in Walt Whitman’s poetry. Emerson believes that the American poets are the “natural sayers, sent into the world, to the end of expression” (Emerson 1) who must connect with all people regardless of their job and or social status. Even though the American poet was meant to connect with all people, he was also supposed to be considered as someone wiser and, in a sense, on the same level as God. Furthermore, Emerson states, too, how poets have “no limits to their works, except the limits of their lifetime” (4), meaning that they are able to act as a prophet and speak through poetry as long as they live. Whitman, often called the “Father” of American poetry, also believed that poetry was needed to help the growing country and connect with each individual person. With this in mind, Whitman writes, “I hear America singing, the varied carols I hear” (Whitman, “I Hear” 1) to convey his knowledge of the country and the state it is in. Such an opening line of his poem stresses the significance of patriotism and each American citizen. Whitman believed the country was falling apart and that he could contribute to the recovery of the country, hoping “his work could heal a fracturing America” (American). The main idea that both Emerson and Whitman suggest is the priority of connecting with the individual. For example, the American poet is “a persona who project[s] an equality” (Emerson 2), yet this is a major challenge for a poet to face. Whitman, like Emerson, had a particular audience to whom to relate, intending “to write a distinctly American epic” (“Walt Whitman” 87). Despite the ultimate challenge of connecting to every American in an epic way, Whitman flourishes through his poems in his attempts to reflect the nation. In “I Hear America Singing,” Whitman stresses the necessity of individualism and how all people have “their own melodious songs” (Whitman, “I Hear” 10). What is more, Whitman definitely flourishes in the sense of addressing more people. He does not leave many individuals out of his work, listing such people as “mechanics,” a “carpenter,” “mason,” “mother,” “young wife,” “young fellows,” and more (2, 3, 4, 8, 9). The poet thus does not discriminate against anyone based on age, sex, or social class. With this in mind, Whitman also writes about the soul in a god-like way by addressing it as something to which everyone can relate. Emerson states “God wills also that thou abdicate a manifold and duplex life” (Emerson 4), showing that God’s will is something that has more than one meaning and is open to interpretation. At one point in “A Noiseless Patient Spider,” Whitman writes how the soul needs ambition and must act“[t]ill the gossamer thread you fling catch somewhere, O my soul” (Whitman “A Noiseless” 10), meaning that it takes more than one weak attempt to reach a goal and progress individually or socially. Such is why people should turn to God or some belief to which they can internally connect in a meaningful manner. Likewise, Emerson describes the American poet as someone who can relate to others on a common level but also be a “beholder of ideas” (Emerson 2) and use his abilities to connect with everyone in an equally meaningful way. Whitman, in turn, is a strong example of the “American Poet” by connecting with many individuals yet being a divine example as well.
Like Whitman, Emily Dickinson is a strong example of an American poet who achieves much of the credentials Emerson requires for his ideal national writer. The Transcendentalist believed in a poet who was able to connect with the soul and the audience on a personal level. The poet is “the sayer, the namer and represents beauty” (Emerson 1), expressing universal thoughts others may not be able to put into words. Likewise, Dickinson writes about the soul in a way that resonates with people and makes them apply her works to their everyday lives. Dickinson writes in one work, “ [t]he Soul selects her own Society— /Then-shuts the Door—” (Dickinson, “The Soul” 1-2), meaning the soul is in control of a human life, deciding who is let into the inner circle of friendship and who is shut out. By employing a persona and speaking in the first person, Dickinson forms a familiarity with the reader in the sense that it is a conversation more than a formal lecture. For example, Dickinson writes, in another poem, “[b]ecause I could not stop for Death—/ He kindly stopped for me” (“Because” 1-2) demonstrating her familiarity by using the pronoun “I,” which makes it easier to communicate with the readers. Such a skill is an essential part of the “beholder of ideas” (Emerson 2), also known as the American Poet. Lastly, Emerson believes that such a figure should use metaphors and imagery to develop a deeper sense of reading, of which Dickinson offers a great amount. Emerson reveals, “we sympathize with the symbols, and, being infatuated with the economical uses of things” (2), describing the skill of symbolism that Dickinson often uses. For instance, she personifies Death as a suitor, picking up his date, the “soul,” in a “Carriage” that will bring the latter to “Immortality” (Dickinson, “Because” 3, 4). By taking an image traditionally considered in a gloomy or negative way, like death, and giving it “Civility” (8), Dickinson succeeds in transforming an old symbol and giving death new “power” through her “intellectual perception” (Emerson 2). All in all, Emily Dickinson makes a suitable candidate for Emerson’s poet in the being the “natural sayer” (1) for whom he seeks.
Although Dickinson may be the most universal poet, writing about large concepts like death and immortality that pertain to all people she fails in being the truly American poet, whom Emerson sought. The Transcendentalist looked for someone who not only would “represent all courtesy and worldly life” but also someone who would be the “American genius” (Emerson 3), which is where Dickinson struggles. She, truth be told, does a great job of connecting with all people, but such a skill is only half of what Emerson wants; instead, it is Whitman who succeeds most in this particular American area. Whitman writes many patriotic poems relating to the people but, also and most importantly, the country. Whitman took responsibility for America as seen in “O Captain! My Captain!,” a poem in which he writes, “Exult, O shores, and ring, O bells!” (Whitman, “O Captain!” 21), indicating the loss in the Civil War and the mixed feelings that were felt. His speaker then adds, “But I, with mournful tread,/Walk the deck my Captain lies,/ Fallen cold and dead” (22-24).The poetic persona, reflecting upon the death of Abraham Lincoln, does not want others to suffer, so he tells the people to celebrate the “fearful trip [that] is done” (1), or the end of the war, while he mourns. This is one example of Whitman taking seriousness of his country to heart. Not only does Whitman fulfill the role of reflecting his “countrymen” (Emerson 3) Emerson sought but he also connects with all American readers. Whitman speaks about the soul, which can be interpreted differently by each individual. While both Whitman and Dickinson reflect internal truths, it is Whitman alone who can also reflect the physical, “ample geography” of America (3). For instance, in “A Noiseless Patient Spider,” Whitman addresses the soul as “[s]urrounded, detached, in measureless oceans of space” (Whitman, “A Noiseless” 7), displaying that the soul cannot be contained and will continue to explore and find new space and “spheres” (8). Over all, Whitman is the better candidate for the American Poet because of his devotion to writing about America and his consistency to relate to all of the readers by writing about the soul. By addressing both tangible and intangible –external and internal—realities of American and human life, Walt Whitman is Emerson’s “genius” (Emerson 3), able to “articulate” the “verb and noun” (2), or actions and concepts, that govern reality.
Works Cited
American Experience: Walt Whitman. PBS.org. Web. 20 Jan. 2012. < http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/amex/whitman/more/e_race.html. >
Dickinson, Emily. “Because I Could Not Stop for Death.” American Literature Collection: Essential Short Works. Greenwich, CT: Convent of the Sacred Heart, 2010. 99. Print.
----------------------. “The Soul Selects Her Own Society.” American Literature Collection: Essential Short Works. Greenwich, CT: Convent of the Sacred Heart, 2010. 97. Print.
Emerson, Ralph Waldo. “The Poet” (1841-1843). Essays: Second Series (1844). Rpt. American Transcendentalism Web. 1999. Web. 15 April 2012. <http://www.vcu.edu/engweb/transcendentalism/authors/emerson/essays/poettext.html>.
“Walt Whitman” [biography]. American Literature Collection: Essential Short Works. Greenwich, CT: Convent of the Sacred Heart, 2010. 85-89. Print.
Whitman, Walt. “I Hear America Singing” (1860). American Literature Collection: Essential Short Works. Greenwich, CT: Convent of the Sacred Heart, 2010. 90. Print.
-------------------. “A Noiseless Patient Spider” (1860). American Literature Collection: Essential Short Works. Greenwich, CT: Convent of the Sacred Heart, 2010. 92. Print.
-------------------. "O Captain! My Captain!." American Literature Collection: Essential Short Works. Greenwich, CT: Convent of the Sacred Heart, 2010. 91. Print
"Indigenous Woman of Heart of Darkness" by Alexandra Stahler, Highland Heights, OH
Part of Hawthorn’s argument is that the European women are a representation of idealism, and what the middle-class woman should look like. Conrad gives vivid descriptions of the Intended being, “all in black, with a pale head, floating” (Conrad 73-74), making her appear ghost like and cut off from her surroundings. Hawthorn states that how “European women are portrayed in Heart of Darkness serves to strengthen the novella’s depiction of idealism as weak, unhealthy and corrupted” (Hawthorn 407). Using Kurtz as the native woman’s link to idealism, Hawthorn describes, “Both women are tragic, both have been betrayed by Kurtz. Putting both women on a pedestal, cutting them off from reality, and restricting them to a world of sterile ideals” (412). While I agree with Hawthorn that this lifestyle of the Intended serves as a purpose to show how corrupted idealism is, I disagree with his second argument of the Intended and Kurtz’s African mistress being similar. Because of the native woman’s affairs with Kurtz, her being cut off from reality is not true. When the crew arrives to Kurtz’s location the mistress “opened her bared arms and threw them rigid above her head as though in an uncontrollable desire to touch the sky” (Conrad 61) showing that she is fully aware of what imperialism has done to Kurtz and what toll it has taken on his health.
The European women are unaware of the changes that their men are going through and what Africa has done to them. Hawthorn feels that all women in this novel, aside from being idealistic; are also cut off from imperialism. The African woman is far from unaware of what is happening to her and her country. The native woman is shown as a strong and bold woman, who Marlow and the crew appear to be intimidated by at first glance. Earlier in the story Marlow believes that “It’s queer how out of touch with truth women are. They live in a world of their own…if they were to set it up it would to pieces before the first sunset” (Conrad 12-13). What scares the men when they first encounter the African woman is that she is not unaware or out of touch with the world, but on the contrary, very involved in her surroundings. The native woman does not represent the corruption of idealism for women or the failure of imperialism, but represents the African people, and the bold attitude which the colonists fear.
Marlow’s first encounter with the native woman is described as both mesmerizing and forceful: “She walked with measure steps, draped in striped and fringed cloths, treading the earth proudly, with a slight jingle and flash of barbarous ornaments” (Conrad 60). The African woman is described very differently from the dark and ghostly description of the Intended. She is represented as rather mystical and majestic, the way Marlow had felt throughout his whole trip and about the Congo itself. Hawthorn does make this connection between the two women which I do agree with, saying, “Where the Intended is static and passive, she is active and forceful; where the Intended has the odor of death about her, she is the personification of life” (Hawthorn 408). The women’s appearances do contradict each other which further shows how closed off the Intended’s life is versus the vibrant spirit of the African woman. Idealism and the effects of imperialism have corrupted the Intended into a ghostlike image, which society and Kurtz has created. But the effects of imperialism for the women are where Hawthorn fails to differentiate the two. Imperialism for the Intended is one of merely longing for someone she loves to come home, whereas the African woman both lost some she cared for and as well as her home altogether. Regardless, the mistress holds a powerful position, that while still emotionally attached to Kurtz, she manages to install fear in Marlow and the crew with her war like image.
The native woman is described with rather positive descriptions, but is also mixed with some unfavorable depictions. Hawthorn comments on this explaining that “Kurtz manages to destroy both women… So positive and forceful is the impression given off by the African woman that it is not hard to forget that she too has the word ‘tragic’ applied to her” (Hawthorn 411). I agree with the native woman having appalling descriptions, specifically in reference to her face that Marlow describes as “dumb” and “tragic,” but I do not feel that this is due to how Kurtz has “destroyed” her. Instead, I feel that the forceful words speak more on how intimidated Marlow feels by the African woman and how her appearance is as unusual and complicated as Africa itself, having him be lost for words. The crew exemplifies this intimidated attitude when pulling up to the land saying, “‘If she had offered to come aboard I really think I would have tried to shoot her,’ said the man of patches, nervously. ‘I have been risking my life every day for the last fortnight to keep her out from the house’” (Conrad 61). The crew demonstrated this type of sporadic defense behavior prior in the book when they began to aimlessly shoot into a bush because they believed people were watching them. The colonizers mistake defense for barbarity throughout their journey, and these men’s responses to the native woman shows how much they truly feared Africa altogether.
The argument that Hawthorn was trying to prove in his article was that the women in this novel represent idealism and what imperialism has done to them, but also that both the Intended and the African women are combined into this group because of their connection with Kurtz. Both women had a relationship with Kurtz and that does justify both of their responses to his death, but the African woman was not removed nor relinquished from the violence she lives in because of that relation. The world that the two women live in are drastically different from each other, making both two very different images of idealism. The image that Marlow creates with his first encounter of the woman shows just how intimidated these men were of not only the natives’ boldness as a woman but also the fear of the African people that they have had throughout the whole journey.
Works Cited
Conrad, Joseph, and Paul B. Armstrong. Heart of Darkness. New York: W.W. Norton, 2017.
Print.
Conrad, Joseph, Paul B. Armstrong, and Jeremy Hawthorn. "The Women of Heart of Darkness."
Heart of Darkness. New York: W.W. Norton, 2017. 405-15. Print.
"You Can Touch My Hair: Public Art Exhibit or Social Experiment?" by Nisa Muhammad, Cincinnati, OH
Black women’s hair has been an object of curiosity and wonder for years. From curls, coils, and cornrows, hair in the black community has defined and separated women of African descent from mainstream society. This is indicated by the aisles in retail stores dedicated to “ethnic hair”, countless blogs and websites devoted to caring for black hair, and documentaries such as Chris Rock’s Good Hair. Whether it be Don Imus being fired as a radio host by CBS for calling the women of Rutgers’ basketball team “nappy head hos” (Faber), Tiana Parker who was sent home from elementary school for having locs (Golgowski), Ashley Baker, associated editor of Jezebel magazine who declared that natural black hair styles were “political” and should be left as a thing of the past (Padgett), or Vanessa Vandyke who was asked to leave school because of her afro (McCormack), one thing remains clear: black hair is political, it is personal, and it is different. Evidently, the stigmas, notions, stereotypes, and struggles involving black hair have been intertwined into the so-called “black experience.”
With black hair constantly being stigmatized, scrutinized, and criticized, Antonia Opiah, founder of un-ruly.com, made it her mission to create a “public art exhibit” based on the fascination and exoticization of black women and their features (A Hair-Touching Exhibit). She had a number of women hold up signs saying “YOU CAN TOUCH MY HAIR.” Opiah aimed to understand the mindset behind random strangers who end up touching the hair of many black women in everyday life regardless of whether consent was given or not (A Hair-Touching Exhibit). She always wanted to understand the curiosity with black hair from the other side (Politics). The “You Can Touch My Hair” public art exhibit perpetuated the idea that black hair is exotic, not normal, and further divides them from women of other races. However, these same feelings are the feelings that spurred the creation of the exhibit (Opiah). This exhibit was based on personal situations that many of the women who were involved experienced regarding feeling objectified because of their hair. Though the “You Can Touch My Hair Exhibit” effectively proves the point that hair is such a sensitive topic among people of African descent, it could have been done in a more effective way in order to enlighten the masses on the burdens that black women face regarding their hair. Antonia Opiah could have taken her idea one step further by creating an “exhibit” that not only showcases the variety of black hair, but also educates people about the society- inflicted burdens that black women face regarding their hair.
Demetria L. Lucas, author of “Touch My Hair? That Will Never Be Cool,” affirms that the You Can Touch My Hair exhibit does essentially improve hair-related race relations by sparing an uncomfortable conversation about black hair. However, it does not fully address why the entire circumstance of hair-touching is one of objectification. Lucas also asserts that the exhibit could create the wrong impression. It could further the hair-touching problem with the idea that because there was a hair- touching exhibit, it is somehow less offensive and less culturally insensitive to touch a black woman’s hair, regardless of consent.
The cultural insensitivity became apparent when protestors declared that the exhibit was similar to that of Sarah Baartman, a name that consistently came up in critiques of the exhibit. As planned, Opiah’s “exhibit” did not sit well with many women and caused many outbreaks of disapproval and protest. There were even women holding up signs saying, “I am not your Sarah Baartman!” Sarah Baartman was an African woman who, in the nineteenth century, found herself as the subject of curiosity to many Europeans because of her elongated genitalia and large behind. These were very common features of Khoisan women. However, the English and French found these features unusual and saw her as a freak of nature. Baartman showcased her abnormalities in freak shows and exhibits for the entertainment and curiosity of many Europeans. After having her genitalia dissected upon her death, they remained on view for tourist and natives in France until 1974. Baartman is a primary example of sexual objectification among black women. It was not until 1994 that Nelson Mandela called for her remains to be buried in Africa, and it was even later, in 2002, that her dissected genitalia were actually buried (Davie).
In “You Can Touch My Hair is a direct descendant of the Hottentot Venus”, Reni Eddo-Lodge, declares that You Can Touch My Hair is an example of racial objectification by comparing it to Baartman’s experience in Europe. This signifies that the exhibit displayed Opiah’s true intentions. Why else would a woman who owns a shirt that specifically states that you can’t touch her hair participate in the You Can Touch My Hair exhibit? A sense of power and reclaiming was instilled into the women. Malliha Jackson, like Opiah, wanted to understand the reasoning and curiosity in wanting to touch black hair (Wilson). Opiah was fully aware of the controversy that it would spur. She named her idea an “exhibit” to embody the feeling of being objectified and embarrassed (A Hair-Touching Exhibit). In this way, You Can Touch My Hair presents itself as a real life satire. However, instead of being an exhibit, it poses itself as a social experiment, examining if the same fascination and wonder of a black woman’s hair would actually be as prevalent if their consent to be objectified was given.
One must recall that Opiah’s intention was precisely to take an everyday situation and embellish the idea of objectification. Opiah got the response that she actually planned for (Opiah). The majority of the people who came to touch the women’s hair were of African descent (Opiah). According to Opiah, this demonstrates that black hair is not just a fascination to people of different races, but to people of the same race as well. Nevertheless, it established the idea that no black woman wants to be responsible for educating people about the weight that black hair carries (Lucas). This is what Opiah would call “other- ing,” and it implements the feeling of third-class citizenship.
You Can Touch My Hair has proven the idea that hair is such a personal and complex topic, especially when your hair is not necessarily accepted into mainstream society. What people do not understand is that comparing You Can Touch My Hair to a petting zoo actually proves its point. Every single woman personally experienced the feeling of objectification and separation because of their hair (Politics). Pride was shattered and personal space was invaded.
You Can Touch My Hair has proved itself to be a social experiment in disguise as a public art exhibit. Yes, You Can Touch My Hair has done exactly what it was intended to do—offend and promote social awareness of objectification caused by hair. Perhaps, it could have been done in a different way. Instead of just having women standing there allowing themselves to be pet by random strangers, You Can Touch My Hair could have taken initiative in educated people on black hair, its history, and its variety. The case could be made that it did just that through the discussions and protests. However, the experiment cannot be beneficial unless it not only poses a question and sparks discussion, but also reaches a much broader audience of people who are not aware of the burdens and stigmas they subconsciously implement and perpetuate.
Works Cited
Davie, Lucille. “Sarah Baartman, at Rest at Last.” SouthAfrica.info. N.p., n.d. Web. 17 Feb. 2014.
Faber, Judy. “CBS Fires Don Imus Over Racial Slur.” CBSNews. CBS Interactive, 12 Apr. 2007. Web. 17 Feb. 2014.
Golgowksi, Nina. “Oklahoma School Changes Dress Code after ‘no Dreadlocks’ Policy Sent Girl Home in Tears.” New York Daily News. Daily News, 11 Sept. 2013. Web. 24 Feb. 2014
Lucas, Demetria L. “Touch My Hair? That Will Never Be Cool.” The Root. N.p., 11 June 2013. Web. 7 Feb. 2014.
McCormack, Simon. “Vanessa VanDyke Could Be Expelled After Having Her Hair Mocked.” The Huffington Post. The Huffington Post, 26 Nov. 2013. Web. 24 Feb. 2014.
Opiah, Antonia. “A Hair-Touching Exhibit Touches off a Range of Reactions.” Interview by Celeste Headlee. NPR. NPR, 19 June 2013. Web. 7 Feb. 2014.
Opiah, Antonia. “You Can Touch My Hair: What Were You Thinking?!” Un’ruly. N.p., June 2013. Web. 07 Feb. 2014.
Padgett, Tania. “Ethnic Hairstyles Can Cause Uneasiness in the Workplace.” Chicago Tribune. Chicago Tribune, 12 Dec. 2007. Web. 18 Feb. 2014.
“Politics of Black Hair – Yctmh Panel Discussion (part 1 of 3)” YouTube. YouTube, 20 Oct. 2013. Web. 18 Feb. 2014.
Ramsey, Donovan X. “’You Can Touch My Hair’: NYC Black Hair Exhibit Draws Controversy, as Many Protest Spectacle.” The Grio. The Grio, 10 June 2013. Web. 24 Feb. 2014.
Wilson, Julee. “’You Can Touch My Hair’ Explores Fascination With Black Hair, Sparks Debate(VIDEO, PHOTOS).” The Huffington Post. The Huffington Post, 07 June 2013. Web. 07 Feb. 2014.
4. Writer’s Choice
The Writer’s Choice can be a variety of genres, including digital projects. This work could be a video, blog, web site, editorial, informal essay, multi-genre essay, narrative, or other genre of your choice. Be especially careful in your reflective letter to explain why you have included this piece, the purpose of the piece, the intended audience, what it shows about your writing, and how it works to demonstrate your abilities (per the Evaluation Criteria). You may choose to write about the project in your portfolio, discussing or introducing the work, or including describing the types of choices you made in the project. If the text you choose is not a .doc or .docx file, please attach it to your portfolio submission or include a link to your work (e.g., link to a YouTube video, website, etc.). Note: We cannot accept attachments larger than 20MB.
Notes from the Directors
The writer’s choice category allows you to determine for yourself what shape your final portfolio selection will take. Whereas the first three categories have somewhat more specific requirements in terms of genre and approach, this section affords the writer more freedom. We hope you will take full advantage of this opportunity to get creative and play with genres/mediums and forms to fulfill your unique purpose and reach your intended audience. You are welcome to choose among a variety of print and digital genres or even create your own genre(s). By including the following pieces, we hope to help you gain a better understanding of how you might approach the writer’s choice category.
For the writer’s choice selection, Melanie Ziaziaris chose to include a website exploring the community of Near North in Chicago. Melanie’s piece employs various visual, textual, and audio modalities to compose a nuanced reading of the community. The use of multiple modes of composing allow Melanie to provide an in-depth analysis of the complex community and enables her to look at the community from multiple perspectives.
In her piece “Hidden Struggle,” Mary Damko discusses her experiences with anxiety in a narrative format. Her use of specific, vivid details and internal monologue lend weight to her story and allow her to connect with readers on an emotional level.
Andrew Richesson takes a more argumentative approach to his writer’s choice piece, which questions the United States’ use of an electoral college. Richesson’s piece has a clear focus and takes advantage of the topic’s timeliness right before the 2016 presidential election. Although persuasive, this piece differs from the research essay by focusing more on personal opinion than source-based research.
In all of these cases, 黑料社区s chose writer’s choice selections that demonstrated their abilities as composers in categories that did not fit into the first three areas. By contextualizing the reasons for their choices in their reflective letters, evaluators were able to understand the importance of these unique pieces and understand how they rounded out the talents of each writer.
"Hidden Struggle" by Mary Damko, Westerville, OH
My heart is beating uncontrollably, and my mind is racing so fast I can’t think straight. It is the summer before my junior year, and I am attending a tennis clinic run by my high school coach. As I walk up to the courts, I recognize some players who I know are more experienced than me. My body tenses, and I begin to regret my decision to show up to this clinic. These people are much more talented and athletic than I am; I don't belong here. I'm just going to embarrass myself, and everyone will wonder why I am here.
The need to perform perfectly had consumed me entirely -- in all areas of my life, but especially in the sport I love -- and these nagging thoughts were precisely what made it impossible for me to do my best. An hour into the clinic, I missed the same shot three times in a row. My coach, unable to hear my critical and hateful internal monologue, yelled at me. After that, there was no recovering. I was paralyzed by humiliation and fear. On the verge of tears, I searched through my muddled thoughts for an excuse, and then I left as quickly as I could. I didn’t go back for the rest of the summer.
This feeling of panic that displaced me from reality had become all too familiar to me. It was during my first year of high school that I began to notice myself getting very nervous around people. I had never been particularly outgoing, and I knew that feeling insecure wasn't unheard of for a teenage girl. So I dismissed this feeling as simply being “too shy,” and I criticized myself for worrying so much about what people thought. Soon, however, this nervousness and overthinking turned into something more. Irrational, negative thoughts had begun to cloud my brain constantly, and I couldn’t help but accept them as facts. My sophomore year, I maintained a 3.9 GPA, had a very successful varsity tennis season, and was surrounded by a supportive family and trustworthy friends. However, almost every night that year, I cried myself to sleep. I managed to keep all of my anxiety bottled up inside of me during the day, and, exhausted when I got home, I would have constant worries, depressed thoughts, fits of anger -- and many, many tears.
I finally realized that this was a problem I could no longer ignore, and that I wouldn’t be able to fix it on my own. My parents helped me find a Cognitive Behavior Therapist, and I began meeting with her once a week. Eventually, I was officially diagnosed with “social and performance anxiety,” which confirmed what I already suspected. Putting a label on this feeling that had been beating me down gave me some relief because I could now acknowledge that this was a real thing, and that it was not my fault. My therapist helped me process what was happening inside my mind and taught me ways to guide my thoughts in a calm, positive way.
Anxiety has played a huge role in the past few years of my life, but the effect that it’s had on me has not been entirely negative. I truly believe that overcoming this struggle in my life has made me a much stronger person. The anxiety itself stems from positive qualities, including my attention to detail. While I used to obsess over things being perfect, I feel that I can now see details clearly and try my best to do thorough work at everything I do. This attention to detail also applies to interacting with other people. Being more aware of my thoughts and emotions helps me to be very empathetic and sensitive to others. Acknowledging the fact that everyone could have an internal battle, makes me much slower to judge others than if I hadn’t had my own struggles.
"untitled" by Andrew Richesson, Mason, OH
With the 2016 presidential election approaching, we should consider the process through which the president is elected. Many people are ignorant of the fact that the president is not elected by a simple majority vote. Instead, our founding founders added a wrinkle. They wrote in our Constitution that Electors from each state equal to its number of representatives would choose the president. All the states today allow the people to vote on what the Electors should decide. Today, many people think that this system is outdated and should be replaced with a simple majority vote. Let us consider what the founding father originally intended when they made the states the ones to choose the president.
Our founding fathers, Alexander Hamilton, James Madison, and many others, feared that the important decision of electing the president should not be left in the hands of the common people. Instead they made sure that only qualified people would choose the president. De Tocqueville also says that it is extremely dangerous to let the people govern. However, is it smart to have the president elected without the people’s full opinion? And should we even use an outdated Electoral College today?
Presidents should be elected by a simple majority vote instead of the Electoral College because it is undemocratic, often ignores minorities, and hinders the purpose of government.
First, we should abolish the Electoral College because it is undemocratic since an individual's vote can carry more or less value depending on which state he or she lives in. States with smaller populations usually have more electors per capita than states with larger populations. Because of the unequal distribution of representatives and especially because states possess two senators no matter its population, the vote of a resident of smaller state can weigh more than the vote of a resident of a larger state. In any democratic system each person’s vote should count the same as everyone else. But because of our unusual system of electing the president by using an Electoral College, someone’s vote could be worth three votes compared to someone else’s one vote. For example, New Hampshire has a population of 1.32 million and has 4 electors. California has a population of 38.8 million and has 55 electors. It may seem that a resident in California has the advantage over the a resident of New Hampshire, but the votes of those in New Hampshire bear more weight than the votes of those in California. Someone’s vote in New Hampshire is worth roughly one three hundred thousandth of his elector’s vote. But a voter in California would only get one seven hundred thousandth of an Elector’s vote. This means that someone’s vote in New Hampshire carries more than twice the weight of someone’s vote in California when it comes to choosing which way an Elector will vote. And since the votes of each Elector are all of equal value, a voter in New Hampshire has twice the say over a Californian in who will become the next president of the United States. Since this system of electing the president is undemocratic because the value of votes differs from state to state, we should abolish the Electoral College.
Second, we should abolish the Electoral College because in many cases the minority of a specific state is completely ignored. In most states, the Electors are under law to cast all their votes for the presidential Candidate who receives the majority of popular votes in that state. So even if the minority comes very close to the majority, those people’s opinions will not be counted overall when determining who will become the president of the United States. When combined with the majority of other states, the minority in that state could actually count for something and turn the tide of the entire election. If we did not have the Electoral College, each individual would have an equal say in who becomes president. If a state was 51% Democratic and 49% Republican, the state’s Electors would not cast part of their votes for the minority of the population and thus leave the 49% of the population completely out of the presidential Election. To fix this problem, we could make the Electors vote in proportion to the choices of the people. The problem here is that some people’s votes will have more power than others because of the unequal distribution of Electors per person. Our other option is to abolish the Electoral College completely so as allow the minority a fair chance in electing the president. For example let us say, hypothetically, that Ohio has 2 million Republicans and 9 million Democrats, and Texas has 14 million Republicans and 13 million Democrats. Under the Electoral system, if these were the only two states in the union, the republicans would overwhelmingly win with Texas’s 38 Republican Elector votes to Ohio’s 18 Democrat Elector votes. But look closer at the figures. In this situation, the imaginary US has 16 million Republicans and 22 million Democrats. The minority in Texas actually turned the tide of the entire vote and became the majority when it united with the majority in Ohio. But under the Electoral College, it is possible for the minority to be completely overlooked. In a democracy, everyone should have a voice in the government. And since our current system prevents this, we should abolish the Electoral College.
However, many object to these arguments by saying that the purpose of the Electoral College is to give more power to the states since they are in charge of choosing who the Electors will vote for. Many say that, because the states have more power, the Electoral College puts a wall of protection between the people and the central government. Also many people, especially during the years of our founding fathers, believe that government should not be trusted with the common people. So would not the best choice be keep the Electoral College in order to give more power to the states? This sounds like an ideal situation except for the fact that the all the states currently do try to represent the wishes of the people by letting the people vote. The Electors almost always follow the popular vote in the state. Thus, the state is actually taking away its own voting power and giving it to the people. Therefore, the Electoral College does not necessarily give more power to the states.
In conclusion, we should abolish the Electoral College because it is undemocratic and often ignores the minorities. The current system makes each the weight of each individual's vote differ based on what state he or she lives in, and under most states, the minority is completely overlooked because the Electors cast all their votes for the majority in that state. The key feature of a democracy is that each individual’s vote should be counted and that every member’s vote carries the same weight. Also, the Electoral system allows for the possibility of the majority of the people losing to the minority because of the unequal distribution of Electors. And since in a democracy the majority should always win over the minority, the Electoral College is undemocratic and should be abolished. Abraham Lincoln said in his Gettysburg address that the United States is a government of the people, by the people, and for the people. Therefore, we can ensure that this will always remain the case if we abolish the Electoral College in favor of the truly democratic majority vote.
"The Greater Near North Community" by Melanie Ziaziaris, Chicago, IL
Best of Complete Profiles
Notes from the Directors
An excellent portfolio exhibits the writer’s ability to write well in a number of genres and is not predictable or clichéd in approach, style, or subject matter. Containing a wide range of essays from persuasion, research, textual analysis, philosophical questions, personal reflection, and description, both Benjamin’s and Emerson’s compositions demonstrate the writer’s ability to engage with complex ideas and integrate sophisticated language, primary and secondary sources, critical thinking, and creativity to construct well-supported and thought-provoking work.
In the first piece of their portfolio—the reflective letter—Benjamin and Emerson both provide important contextual background for their essays (e.g. genre, audience, and purpose) and also describe the external factors that influence their writing process. Through this reflection, they help us understand how each essay was composed (e.g. detailing the invention and revision steps, the rhetorical choices made) as well as their ongoing relationships with writing.
In the second piece of the portfolio—the persuasive research essay—both authors take different persuasive approaches. Benjamin draws upon ancient philosophy to make a statement about the modern world, while Emerson offers a nuanced viewpoint of the Black Lives Matter movement. Both writers are passionate about their research topics and treat their issues with the complexity they deserve, showing how there are multiple facets to these positions. They use a variety of sources well, utilizing them in support of their own positions, rather than trying to have the sources speak for them. This leads to compelling, persuasive, and informative work that is interesting to read and inspires the reader.
In the next piece—analysis of a text—Benjamin analyzes the role of fear in popular literature over several centuries, and Emerson discusses the feminist message of the Audi #DriveProgress commercial. Both writers offer insight on how these texts use rhetorical devices to persuade and appeal to audiences, and both Benjamin and Emerson pay attention to the context in which their analyzed texts were produced.
In their final essay—the writer’s choice—Benjamin and Emerson chose very different types of work to include. Benjamin discusses and shares his personal website, which offers the reader not only insight about his creativity, but is also a representation of multimodal digital work. Emerson’s narrative of her high school experience with sunless tanner connects with readers emotionally and delivers a message about self esteem. In both cases, the reader is presented with insight and reflection about the lives of the authors, as shown through their own eyes within their writing and composing.
Emerson Krause Portfolio, Lutherville, MD
Reflective Letter
Dear 黑料社区 Composition Faculty,
Growing up the daughter of an English major, I always believed to have a very firm grasp on linguistics and my ability to write. When placed in regular, rather than honors, English my freshman year, I was frustrated that I was unable to prove this to my middle school teachers; however, due to my own belief in my abilities and my unwavering pride, I worked throughout freshman year to get moved up to honors.
After earning a spot in honors my sophomore year, I was confident that the class had little potential to be a challenge as I considered myself a talented writer who had grown exponentially throughout my first year of high school. However, I was promptly bucked off my high horse following my first assignment; I had received a B-, and I was astonished, unsettled, and frankly lost. Luckily I was at the hands of Ms. Cox, one of the best teachers I have ever had the pleasure of knowing, and from then on Sophomore year became a year of rebuilding, restructuring, and relearning.
Following my year of writing transformation I had grown inspired to excel in not just analytical writing, but in a variety of types. Because of this interest, I began enrolling in extremely diverse English courses. From American Mosaic, a course with a concentration in American immigrant literature, to Jewish American Literature, my studies varied significantly in topics, and it allowed me to grasp not only how to analyze traditional American literature, but also how to write about more issues relevant to American culture.
Fast forward to spring term of senior year, and I found myself back in one of Ms. Cox’s courses. Like my classes junior year it was extremely untraditional; I was in a class entitled, “Reading Your World,” which was a course that examined popular culture through packages, ads, and other mediums. Similar to my previous electives, the subject and the writing style they demanded were foreign to me; this wasn’t literature analysis anymore, but rather the analysis of societal trends and marketing. It was in this class that I was fully able to comprehend my growth as a writer. Because of the work put in with Ms. Cox years back as well as the experience writing on nontraditional subjects compiled during my junior year, I was able to quickly adapt to the unique topics and required writing style, earning an A in the class. It was also in this course that I wrote some of my most impactful pieces--two of the pieces in this portfolio were written for this class.
The research paper I chose for my portfolio was my piece called, “Black Lives Matter.” This paper was written for my Elections and Politics class my senior year, and it is one of my favorite pieces due to my hometown’s background in the argument. I grew up in a suburb about twenty minutes outside of Baltimore City, and attending a private and part-time boarding school meant that many of my classmates lived in the city or at least over the county line. I was a sophomore when Freddie Gray died in police custody on April 19, 2015, so the protests, riots, and resulting trials were at the forefront of my life and the lives of those around me. Even from twenty minutes outside of the city you could feel the repercussions of the incident; riot warnings sent us home early from school; athletic events ended earlier so those 黑料社区s who lived in the city could get home before the mandatory curfew; some nights I couldn’t make it to my practice at University of Maryland due to protests or riots that interfered with our route. However, these things were nothing more than small changes or inconveniences. What was much more important and striking were the narratives of classmates around me who spoke of their own fears and experiences with police officers. Never before were many of us brought to consider fearing those who were meant to protect us, but following the death of Freddie Gray these fears worsened for many of the people around me. We all watched as our city erupted in anger and as what we previously simply watched on the news suddenly became reality around us. My Black Lives Matter essay is the result of experiencing a climate of unrest firsthand. The paper allowed me to write about one of the most divisive topics in recent news while having a better understanding of all of the details and emotions attached. In no way am I suggesting that I have an accurate sense of how those more closely involved must feel--I only mean to suggest that the proximity of the incident greatened my sense of sympathy as well as my knowledge of the details. My piece was written with the experiences of my classmates and my city in mind, and as a writer it taught me to be able to use personal experiences and views as a way of framing my opinion without creating an argument ladened with bias.
I chose my piece, “Lilly Ledbetter Would Drive an Audi,” as my analysis of a text. In Ms. Cox’s class, one of our assignments was to choose a television commercial and explain how the ad attempts to persuade the viewer to buy the product it advertises. The paper was assigned just briefly after the 2017 Super Bowl, so I chose an advertisement that I personally found to have a powerful and provocative statement--an Audi commercial advertising for the new Audi S5. Audi had recently launched their #DriveProgress campaign in which their advertisements focus on relevant political issues. In this particular commercial, they are promoting equal pay for women. Personally, I am a huge advocate for gender equality, so their message spoke to me, and I was able to see how Audi was narrowing in on a specific target audience. This piece forced me to accurately analyze what the commercial’s intention was, who their intended audience was, and how it fits into current social issues in today’s political climate. These objectives I found to be intriguing and unique to the type of writing I was familiar with doing. Instead of simply acting as a writer, the assignment forced me to act as a marketing and political analyst. This assignment tied in my love of political science with a type of writing that was extremely foreign to me, and it inspired in me a particular type of growth as a writer.
For my writer’s choice piece I chose a personal essay entitled, “Pasty Isn’t Pretty: How to Increase Your Self-Worth.” While writing this piece, I certainly would have never believed that it would be used in my portfolio, due to the fact that it was the toughest piece I have ever written. It was the last English paper assigned my senior year, and the difficulty it presented caught me off guard. It was a memoir, and our assignment was to write about an aspect of popular culture and its role in your life. The trouble I had with the assignment was the fact that I strongly dislike writing about myself, as I feel that the outcome often sounds contrived. Along with this, I picked a subject that was very personal. Many of my classmates chose simpler things to write about such as a favorite childhood toy or family car. However, I was grappling with a much more serious and thus more challenging subject matter; I undertook the challenge of describing how I subconsciously link the smell of self-tanner with sadness, due to the fact that both were present during a particular period of my life. To write a paper like this properly, one needs to undergo a great amount of self-reflection, work up the courage to open up to others, and portray one’s feelings in a way that is comprehensible without sounding obnoxious or self-pitying. I recognized immediately that this was no easy task, but excited to take it on, I began writing my paper on a Friday night immediately after it was assigned. I churned out about three quarters of my first draft that evening, but if I held that draft next to my current paper, it would appear to be two entirely different pieces. To finally master the certain voice I was aiming for in my piece it took around five drafts. I was looking for a voice that would portray the seriousness of my subject and the emotion I felt at the time while simultaneously voicing the dry humor that I like to incorporate in all aspects of my life. By the fifth and final draft the paper had taught me a lesson entirely separate from the assignment- it taught me how to write about myself with emotion without sounding artificial, how to make a personal experience reach a diverse audience, and that often when aiming for a more complex voice, it can take time to perfect.
While my pieces all differ greatly in their subject matters, when combined as a whole they represent many things that I learned as a writer throughout the years that helped me grow into the writer I am today. They taught me the importance of voice, patience, audience outreach, real life application, and perhaps most of all, diversity in writing types and styles. Thank you for taking the time to read my portfolio, and I hope you enjoy my work.
Sincerely,
黑料社区 Student, Class of 2021
Persuasive Research Essay: "Black Lives Matter"
“More than 1000 people were killed in police operations in the US in 2015, nearly a third of them black--despite the fact that black people are 13% of the population. A protest movement has grown up against that.” Black Lives Matter is a movement that has taken the country by storm, beginning in early 2012. On January 26, 2012, George Zimmerman, a neighborhood watchman for a community in Sanford, Florida, fired the shot that ultimately created one of the most popular and well-known movements in the United States. Zimmerman had called 911 to report a suspicious person in the Retreat at Twin Lakes community, and despite their warnings, got out of his car and neared the person. Due to the lack of witnesses at the scene, the next few moments are hazy; however, it resulted in the death of 17-year-old Trayvon Martin and a bloodied George Zimmerman. The jury was allowed to find Zimmerman guilty of 2nd degree murder, manslaughter, or simply not guilty, and despite the evidence stacked against him, he was acquitted. This decision, which outraged many, prompted Alicia Garza, Patrisse Cullors, and Opal Tometi to create the hashtag #blacklivesmatter and post it on Facebook. The movement began then, and became more significant in 2014 with the shooting of Michael Brown in Ferguson, Missouri. Many, like in Trayvon Martin’s case, expected Brown’s shooter to be indicted for his actions, however, the jury did not decide to do so. Following the decision, the small St. Louis suburb erupted. What began as a protest outside of the Ferguson police department turned into buildings and cars being set ablaze and looting. The protests and riots lasted weeks, and worsened, causing police use of tear gas and rubber bullets. Even the Missouri National Guard was called and forced to step in. Unfortunately, cases like these two go on and on, and seem to occur with increasing frequency.
During the protests over Darren Wilson’s lack of indictment, America was able to see what was happening in Ferguson, Missouri through social media and news outlets. In the words on Charlton Mcllwain, NYU professor and co-author of “Beyond the Hashtags: #Ferguson, #BlackLivesMatter, and the Online Struggle for Offline Justice,” “Seeing tanks and armored vehicles to this degree in the small town of Ferguson was a show of force that’s usually reserved for war. It was a wake-up call to a lot of people who said ‘Wow, this is really a problem.’” To an extent, this country has not realized the effect of the media on political issues such as the issue of race relations. The Black Lives Matter movement has become such a factor in our country that it was even been compared to the Civil Rights Movement. It began when Alicia Garza, an African-American activist wrote on her Facebook, “Black people. I love you. I love us. Our lives matter.” This was issued following the Trayvon Martin case, and as alluded to earlier, it picked up traction after the death of Michael Brown. However, not everyone is a proponent of the movement, despite its good intentions: its cry for attention to and action against the racial profiling against blacks, especially by law enforcement. Many try to counter Black Lives Matter with “All Lives Matter.” This is not always ill-intentioned, but it detracts from the point of the movement. Blacks have been subject to persecution since they arrived in the country, and despite efforts to level the playing field, they still face a great amount of racism and discrimination.
Since the original facebook post, Black Lives Matter has transformed itself from a hashtag to a social justice group. While it is recognized nationally, it is led locally. Cullors, one of the founders of Black Lives Matter is quoted saying, “We don’t get people onto the streets, they get themselves onto the street.” The reason for this lies solely in the groups motive, which Cullors states is to, “push for black people’s right to live with dignity and respect.” The leaders of Black Lives Matter push the notion that they are not simply fighting against police brutality, but rather the inequality African-Americans face as a whole. And Alicia Garza, one of the founders of the movement, sees it becoming much more than it is today. “I would describe this moment for the movement as a real paradigm shift...But it also, I think, points to the agency that we have, collectively, to change our conditions. I think if we demonstrate a collective commitment and a collective practice to changing not just how police and policing happens in this country, but certainly to changing the conditions that black communities are living and existing in, then we have a real shot for living in a world that is more just, more equitable — in a world where black lives actually do matter.”8 This statement adequately and accurately sums up the movement as a whole. Black Lives Matter, certainly, is fighting the police brutality the race experiences as a whole, however that is just a subset of the actual movement. The fight against police brutality has been highlighted the most due to its tangibility, especially with the unfortunate number of examples. However, it is pushing for much more than that; it is pushing for equality socially and fiscally, which is something that blacks have not experienced in this country. In the words of Umi Selah, co-director of Dream Defenders in Miami, “This is about the quality of life for black people, for poor people in this country.”
However, despite the good intentions of the movement, it is still rather contentious. Unfortunately, much of its negative image can be accredited to the media. During the Baltimore riots following the death of Freddie Gray, we were able to see personally how much this came into play. The most obvious example is the title itself; we don’t refer to it as the Baltimore protests, but instead the Baltimore riots. Granted, it turned into such, as late in the protests some began looting and burning buildings, but this was never the intention of the Black Lives Matter campaign. We, more than anyone, were able to see how there was much more than the media portrayed, and that it did not start off violently, but with civil, peaceful protests. But peaceful doesn’t sell. Peaceful turned violent, and that’s when the news stations began reporting. This is what is ultimately damaging to the movement. When those who are fighting for equality are portrayed as thugs it creates a disconnect between those of privilege and those seeking equality.
In addition to the media portrayal, there was also the Dallas tragedy that created a setback for the movement. On July 7, 2016, five officers were killed and nine others were injured. Micah Xavier Johnson, the perpetrator, had been influenced by the African American Defense League, who following the death of Alton Sterling, asked their followers to seek revenge. The group was calling on their followers to “..."Rally The Troops!" It is time to visit Louisiana and hold a barbeque. The highlight of our occasion will be to sprinkle Pigs Blood!" and told them to, “Attack everything in blue…” According to investigations, “He also had visited the websites of the Nation of Islam and the Black Riders Liberation Party - which the Southern Poverty Law Center considers to be hate groups.” Although this shooter was not acting explicitly in support of the Black Lives Matter movement, he was lumped in with the social justice group, causing more negative press to come their way. Following the incident, Joe Walsh, former House member from the state of Illinois, tweeted, “3 Dallas Cops killed, 7 wounded. This is now war. Watch out Obama. Watch out black lives matter punks. Real America is coming after you.” Tweets such as this one, one that came from an educated American politician, exemplify the repercussions violent actions have on what is supposed to be a progressive movement.
The Dallas shooting also sparked the “Blue Lives Matter” movement, which is seen as another detrimental aspect of the Black Lives Matter movement. Instead of fighting for the lives of African Americans, people began turning the movement around to fight for the lives of police officers. But said eloquently by President Obama, “When people say black lives matter, it doesn't mean blue lives don't matter, it just means all lives matter, but right now the big concern is the fact that the data shows black folks are more vulnerable to these kinds of incidents.” In an interview with NPR, Patrisse Cullors, one of the leaders of the movement, was asked for a “response to critics who say the Black Lives Matter movement has created a less safe environment for police,” to which she stated, “I think all of us inside of this movement have a deep understanding that what happened in Dallas was a tragedy and that we also can hold the tension of what continues to happen in black communities, which is being brutalized, killed and abused by the state, often at the hands of law enforcement.” Besides radical extremist groups, like the ones that inspired Johnson to execute the deadliest day for United States police since 9/11, no one is fighting for crimes against law enforcement. They are fighting for justice and equality for African Americans throughout the nation.
With the election of Donald Trump, it will be interesting to see what happens to the Black Lives Matter movement. While many may not have high hopes on how the president elect will handle the social justice group, one can still hope that he will bring an end to identity politics. Identity politics, though intended to create an inclusive country in which everyone is represented, actually creates an environment in which groups are pitted against each other, fighting for political representation and acknowledgement. Race relations is a fundamental problem in our country, and it will not be an easy fix. While it will never be perfect, we can still improve significantly. Identity politics holds this country back from improving as it doesn’t allow us to unite as one to solve a common problem. Black Lives Matter is a necessary movement for where we are in our nation’s history, and it will continue to successfully fight for a more equal and just environment for African-Americans as long as the movement remains peaceful.
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Michael McLaughlin, "The Dynamic History of #BlackLivesMatter Explained," The Huffington Post,
February 29, 2016, accessed December 12, 2016, http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/history-black-lives-matter_us_56d0a3b0e4b0871f60eb4af5.
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, 2016, accessed December 12, 2016, http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2016/07/11/black-lives-matter-what-what-stands/86963292/. 8"Black Lives Matter Founders Describe 'Paradigm Shift' In The Movement," NPR, July 13, 2016, accessed December 12, 2016, http://www.npr.org/sections/codeswitch/2016/07/13/485895828/black-lives-matter-founders-describe-para digm-shift-in-the-movement.
Ryan W. Miller, "Black Lives Matter: A Primer on What It Is and What It Stands for," USA Today, August
, 2016, accessed December 12, 2016, http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2016/07/11/black-lives-matter-what-what-stands/86963292/.
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Miller, Ryan W. "Black Lives Matter: A Primer on What It Is and What It Stands for." USA Today. August 08, 2016. Accessed December 12, 2016. http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2016/07/11/black-lives-matter-what-what-stands/86963292/.
Yan, Holly. "Writing in Blood, Threats of Bombs: The Latest on the Dallas Shooting Investigation." CNN. July 12, 2016. Accessed December 12, 2016. http://www.cnn.com/2016/07/11/us/dallas-shooting-investigation/.
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Analysis of a Text: "Lilly Ledbetter Would Drive an Audi"
Audi aired a commercial for the Audi S5 during the 2017 Super Bowl. The ad featured a father and daughter duo that is pretty stereotypical- both are white and appear to be middle class, dressed simply and practically in jeans and a t-shirt. The dad is middle-aged and appears to be about 30 or 40 and is shown relatively little throughout the minute long commercial. The daughter, however, is clearly the focus of the commercial. The daughter is about ten years old with tan skin and sun-bleached hair. She appears to be one of those kids who is out playing in the hot summer sun all day long, as she looks to be tough and rugged. The premise of the commercial is that the daughter is competing against male peers in a car race. The cars are metal and homemade, the land is treacherous, and overall, it looks to be challenging. Throughout the video of the young girl racing through the tough terrain against her male counterparts, there is a narrator in the background asking questions that all spawn from the initial question of, “What do I tell my daughter?” He asks questions that represent the inequality of men and women such as, “Do I tell her that her grandpa is worth more than her grandma?” and “Do I tell her that despite her education, her drive, her skills, her intelligence, she will automatically be valued as less than every man she ever meets?” At the end of the commercial, the girl comes through the finish line first, beating every one of the boys competing. After this occurs, the narrator in the background states, “or maybe I’ll be able to tell her something different,” while showing a frame of the girl holding her big gold trophy and walking back to their Audi after the race. Audi does this to advertise equal pay for women, a belief that they back by the quote at the end of the commercial that says, “Audi of America is committed to equal pay for equal work. Progress is for everyone.” Audi’s commercial is supposed to be an empowering commercial for women that shows the strong morals of their company in order to create a positive association between the company and the values that are important to their target consumer audience.
Audi’s recent ads have had a similar tone, as most of them have been political. They have even had other commercials about gender roles, such as the, “Let’s Change the Game,” commercial. In this one, Barbie leaves her dream house in pursuit of something more--and she finds herself not in the passenger seat but in the driver’s seat of an Audi. Barbie goes on a night-long adventure and sees the world outside of her house for the first time, but then when it is time for the toy store to reopen for the day, Barbie can’t make it back quickly enough and is caught in the middle of the aisle in the Audi. A young boy picks up the car and says to his mom, “Mom I want this one!” to which she responds, “but honey, these don’t belong together,” and takes Barbie out. The screen then goes black besides this message from Audi that states, “Playing, just like driving, shouldn’t be a matter of gender,” then a voice cuts in that says, “what if we change the game this Christmas,” with “Let’s change the game!” written across the screen. Here, Audi is doing something similar to the #DriveProgress commercial. They are advocating for the eradication of gender roles within the car business, although in two different ways. Audi frames their commercial particularly cleverly in this one--when they say, “what if we change the game this Christmas,” they are not just referencing allowing your kids to play with any toys without being gender specific, it is also referencing how more women should buy or receive Audis this Christmas, as they no longer need to be in the passenger seat.
While Audi is no stranger to political ads arguing things such as equal pay, voting importance, and gender roles, many car ads are not like this. Many tend to stay out of such political issues, worrying that it will hurt their business as it is sure to divide their consumer base. Many car ads actually do the exact opposite of Audi--cars are generally seen as a more masculine interest than a feminine interest, so they target men. They do this typically by associating their car with sex, power, masculinity, and wealth. Often car commercials feature attractive men driving with an attractive woman in the passenger seat. They are both usually dressed in what would be assumed to be expensive clothes, and there is always a sense of lust and sexual tension between the two. This is how cars are frequently marketed, as they aim to attract men, however Audi took a different route in terms of their target audience and their method of persuasion. In order to reign in a more heavily female consumer base, they hone in on important, progressive social issues rather than the more typical ways of persuasion.
There is little doubt that in the #DriveProgress commercial the targeted audience is women or even the entire female gender. More specifically though, the commercial is targeting liberal women, with the ad’s use of an important social issue and the timing of their commercial being aired. The commercial literally spells out its intentions with the quote at the end that reads, “Audi of America is committed to equal pay for equal work. Progress is for everyone.” In a different time, this may just be seen as an empowering, pro-women commercial. However, the recent political climate has allowed this commercial to not only become an ad promoting women, but an ad promoting liberal social values. While it isn’t necessarily an anti-Trump campaign or ad, it certainly is centered around women’s equality which is an issue that Trump has undermined in the past. From his comments about women alluding to sexual assault to his aims to defund Planned Parenthood, it is clear that he is not exactly an advocate for women’s rights. This is an aspect of his campaign that has been highlighted since the beginning, so due to the time of the airing of the ad, it is clearly a political statement.
The ad also attempts to reign in the father-figure audience too. The ad is noticeably missing a mother-figure and the only family members you see in the commercial is the girl and her dad. This combined with the father’s narration of “What do I tell my daughter?” creates the sense of the father-daughter bond that is felt by many. From the perspective of the girl, the race acts as an empowering equalizer that will give her the confidence to compete against her male counterparts as she grows up. But from the perspective of the father, his worries that his daughter won’t be able to make it in a world built for men are alleviated, and he feels a deep pride for his daughter and her accomplishments. Audi here is trying to get even their male audience to be sympathetic to the cause that they are pushing, even if it does not directly relate to them, by playing on the father-daughter relationship and bond.
The ad creates a positive association between the product they are trying to sell and equal rights between genders as its form of persuasion. If the value that the ad is portraying is important to the consumer, (which they assume it will be), then the consumer will be more likely to back the company because they believe they have good values. So once the commercial illustrates the principles that are important to them, (which is rather obvious in this particular commercial), those who agree with it will then create a positive association between that and the company. Audi does this intelligently by using the state of American society to choose the value that they’d like to associate with their product. Due to the nature of politics at the moment, equal rights and pay for women has been an extremely important topic that many feel strongly about. The Women’s March on Washington, the day after the Inauguration, is a clear testament to this; over 500,000 people showed up to stand up for women’s rights including the right to choose and the right to equal pay. Audi picked up on this and used this to help its campaign--if people supported women’s rights and Audi associated themselves with that sentiment, then people would remember that association when choosing a car and pick an Audi first. Also, because of the timing of the ad, this power of association not only attracted those who are pro-women’s rights, but also by those who are anti-Trump. The timing of the airing of the commercial also acts as a strategy for persuasion, as it reigns in an audience that is disillusioned with the current political state.
The Audi ad reflects the changing gender roles in our country and the progressive society that we are living in today. Throughout the past decade, especially during the Obama years, the United States has made leaps and bounds in becoming a country that is accepting of different genders, ethnicities, cultures, and sexual orientations. These are values that many citizens hold dear and make America the special country that it is to them, and the thought of those values being threatened has many up in arms. The country voted for the upkeep of these values and America’s progression on becoming a more accepting country for all, but the electoral college did not. However, the voices of those who wanted progress were not smothered. On January 21st, it was clear that the voices who wanted things such as equal pay were still singing loud and clear, and the marketers of Audi used this to their advantage. Audi tailored their commercial to appeal to the 3 million more who still wanted the “change we can believe in.” In this, Audi had to recognize that they weren’t going to capture all audiences. But they honed in on a consumer base, primarily women and liberals, and went after it. This commercial was not just a pro-women commercial, but also a political statement that reflects the push to end gender roles and gender bias in our country in exchange for a more progressive, modern, and accepting society.
Work Cited
Audi USA. “Audi #DriveProgress Big Game Campaign:” YouTube, YouTube, 1 Feb. 2017, .
Writer's Choice: "Pasty Isn’t Pretty: How to Increase Your Self-Worth"
One’s olfactory bulb, which is the part of the brain that analyzes smell, is closely connected to one’s amygdala and hippocampus--which are responsible for memory and emotion. Because of this, it is common that our sense of smell is very well connected with our memory, most likely more than any of our other senses. Often, smells elicit positive emotions such as the smell of pine reminding us of Christmas and a certain fabric softener reminding us of a childhood blanket. While these smells can fill us with feelings of comfort or joy, some do not create such a positive effect.
The distinct, potent smell of Jergens self-tanner wafts through the Baltimore-area high schools during the late fall or early spring, and it is impossible for me to ignore. As natural tans begin to fade with the onset of winter or pale legs begin to shed leggings at the beginning of spring, many girls with fair complexions such as myself will resort to an unnatural and pungent way of doing what the sunless sky cannot: darken their complections. However, this action no longer comes to me with no strings attached. Thanks to my olfactory bulb, I link this behavior, and its smell, to one of the most difficult parts of my life thus far.
My sophomore year of high school was not a happy year for me. No, there were no major life changing or tragic events that made it this way; in fact, from the outside, it appeared to be going extremely well for me. I was a three sport athlete and began the year by making the varsity field hockey team and was friends with much of the 黑料社区 body. But instead of belonging to a single group like most, I considered myself more of a floater. While I remained friends with the vast majority of the 黑料社区 body, I was close with very few. A feeling of loneliness and disconnect haunted me on a day to day basis, and it became so hard sometimes that it would be next to impossible to drag myself to school every day.
That September I began dating someone, and it was my first “real” relationship. In this time of social struggle and search for my identity, I felt as if my relationship with him helped define me as a person despite the fact that I was much more than that. While he certainly didn’t know it, I considered him to be my lifeline, and I felt as if he kept me afloat from all of the personal struggles and demons that constantly threatened to pull me under. However, this feeling of security was pulled out from under me by surprise March of my sophomore year. He broke up with me just a few days after my 16th birthday, and I felt as if my world had been turned upside down.
But since I had always prided myself on my stoicism, I decided I would do anything to make myself look as put together and under control as possible. My goal became to take to heart the saying, “it’s not how you feel, it’s how you look.” Instead of fixing myself and my emotional stability, I decided to try to look as pretty as possible. And for a sophomore in high school, pretty meant tan. Due to the timing of the breakup, a gloomy, dark, and frigid winter, there was no way to obtain this naturally, so I turned to Jergens as my outlet. But for me, its use extended beyond fixing my pale skin--I used it to try to fix my life.
Every night, I covered up my insecurities with thick, tan paste, carefully making sure to smear it on every square inch of my body. I would stop only when I was sure that every flaw was safely covered and that my self-doubt could not shine through my orange exterior. Upon application, Jergens gives off a vaguely fruity smell, which is most likely what the bottle alludes to when it promises that the product has a “great scent.” However, upon waking the next morning, the fragrance that the Jergens gave off the previous night is replaced with a strong odor, not unlike the smell of burning. This burnt smell followed me around everywhere I went, and soon the scent defined my year. My usage became a ritual--feeling dejected? Think people don’t like you? No worries, all of your problems can be fixed with this small brown tube. What I failed to realize was that rather than making myself a better person, I was simply morphing into a sad Oompa Loompa who had been rejected from Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory.
As the year went on, I became more orange and more splotchy (as I was never any good at applying the self tanner), and most likely, more pungent. But my life continued to move on, and I eventually began to rebound from my pit of sadness. I had another interest besides looking like a leopard on a daily basis; I began to throw myself into my training and beginning my efforts to drop my mile time. Why exactly I began to take such an intense interest in this goal, I don’t know. Most likely it was an avoidance method--instead of confronting the fact that I was unhappy, I began to just make myself as busy as possible so I didn’t have time to think about it. Every night, in addition to my regular application of self-tanner to my already neon legs, I would excitedly pack my equally bright running shoes, already looking forward to the next day’s workout. I began to wholeheartedly throw myself into my training, giving every ounce of my energy to school workouts and taking myself for multi-mile runs, (which were more like sprints), on the weekends. I had found a passion and a distraction; in a time when I felt that I had little to nothing to show for myself, running became my new lifeline and I began to worry less about my appearance and the effect I believed that it had on my self-worth.
As my self-confidence improved, my use of Jergens slackened, and soon my usage was limited to about once a week rather than every day. The final end of the obsession came in early May when the track team won the IAAM championship. I had played a major role, competing and placing in both the varsity 1600 and 4x400. That afternoon when I ran my personal record in the 1600, it became clear to me that I didn’t need the self-tanner to save me from my own self-doubt anymore. Being a part of the championship team had filled me with pride, and I finally had what I had lacked for months: self-assurance. I didn’t need the Jergens to hide my insecurities anymore because for the most part, they began to disappear.
There may not seem like much of a correlation between the hue of your skin and your confidence and self-worth. However, growing up as a teenager in this generation, there is an immense amount of pressure to fall in line with today’s beauty standards, and often girls are taught or shown (such as through the beauty industry and their advertisements), that beauty surmounts intelligence and personality. For me, self-tanner acted as a temporary floatation device that would keep my head above water in a time when I was emotionally distraught. I believed that this product would shield me from me feeling my insecurities as well as others seeing them. However, this proved to be untrue; it was only when I began to devote myself to other activities and define to myself who I was that I was able to dig myself out of the hole of sadness in which I had fallen. Every now and then, I’ll revisit my old friend Jergens for events like Prom. But even to this day, my olfactory bulb punishes me with a pang of sadness whenever I catch a whiff of the signature smell of self-tanner as it reminds me of a time of great unhappiness in my life.
Benjamin Wachtel Portfolio, Cuyahoga Falls, OH
Reflective Letter
To the reader(s) of this portfolio,
Over the years, I have come to realize that both my personality and my writing process are quite binary, a sort of Jekyll and Hyde syndrome if you will. I can either write in intellectual abstractions, using denser, intentional vocabulary and perhaps even denser sources, or I can write as “myself,” casual, reserved, and contemporary. This sort of duality has plagued a lot of my interests, not only my writing. I consume quirky technical information as though it were the last drop of water on a desert planet, but also love to sit quietly and draw or design or write poetry, or simply take in beauty at a museum or a cinema. This change has come about relatively recently, and so I would like to present my three pieces as a sort of story of its own: the process of learning to integrate my two sides, old and new, past and present, intellectual and down-to earth.
For my persuasive essay, I chose a piece from my junior year. I had originally written it following a year of Medieval studies, when it had served as a sort of capstone to my year. Coming back to it with another year of reading and experience under my belt, I felt it was a fine candidate to be updated. Looking back now, I can see how this was partially influenced by my dual interests. My intellectual, history-loving side appreciated the old ways of thinking that the piece explored and my modern, analytical mind wanted to freshen it up with new sources and some more nuanced ideas. As a historically oriented piece, I naturally leaned into a focus on academia, as is evidenced not only by my sources, but by my structure, grammar, and vocabulary choice. This essay demonstrates, if nothing else, my affection for the world of ideas. My word choice may, at times, be a little alienating to the casual, popular reader, but it is intentional, if a little indulgent. I wanted to explore and bring back, if only in small part, the history and wisdom of our past.; After all, that’s the argument; I believe that the modern world has turned its back on much of our tradition and history, which has partially restarted our development. This is why I chose it as my first piece. It not only speaks on a topic that I am passionate about (which is necessary to any good essay), but it also presents a prime example of that more intellectual, anachronistic side of myself.
My second piece, the analysis of a text, explores the societal fears expressed in the epic poem Beowulf, as well as how those anxieties have persisted in today’s modern, ‘civilized’ world. I wrote this piece at the beginning of my Junior year, before I wrote my argumentative essay. In the case of this paper, I was coming out of a time when my teachers had been more lax, when I had been encouraged to write from my personality, and returning to a teacher who demanded a much more proper and academic style. As a result, this work houses my two sides a bit more equally. I used more popular and relatable examples, but still maintained an academic tone. Having been able to exercise my more personal and emotional side in the year before, I wrote with a greater concern for the modern applications. I gave the modern examples equal weight with the old ones and drew a more modern, perhaps even slightly nihilistic, conclusion. While I was still writing for an academic audience, this paper was more accessible than my later one, and demonstrates the early stages of my attempts to integrate my separate interests.
The third piece, the writer’s choice, is my personal website. I don’t call it a blog anymore because I don’t use it that actively. The site now is more of an outlet for me as I need it. I write some fun things there and some more heady ones, but the real point here is that it is the culmination, at least at this stage in my life, of the combination of my dual self. I write some posts on philosophy and some on movies. I take photos of old things, peeling, crumbling, and decaying, but also of new life, blooming, smiling, even laughing. I don’t deny on the site that I’m a hopeless nerd. I am. And that’s the beauty of it, I think. It’s my opportunity to bring the lofty down and pull the lowly up. Even the manifestation of this site as a website is a unification. It brings old ideas and old words to a new medium. The internet is a nerd’s paradise. It is full of technical demands, like SEO and coding knowledge, but also of softer, more artistic ones.
Now, you might notice that I referred throughout this letter to my more relaxed, more plebian side as my ‘personality’ or my ‘self’. I did this intentionally, even if it was a little deceptive. I have come to realize over the years that this description, that my casual side is ‘me’ and my intellectual side is fake, to be false. Both of my sides are equal parts of me and equally ‘me.’ It is demeaning to my intellectual part to claim that it is in some way not myself. So, as you read the essays that indulge more in that part of my head, please realize that this isn’t me trying to pander. It’s just how I think. And as you read the website look for the unification held there, both in the photography and the writing. I hope that as you read you will see the story of my search, not only for ideas and truth, but for self-discovery and development.
Thanks for your time and consideration.
Research Paper: "Passion, Piety, and Love: Ideals of the Self Throughout History"
Throughout human history, each generation has looked upon its predecessors for wisdom, guidance, and caution. Some thoughtfully accepted the traditions of their forebears and thrived, thanks to the wisdom held within, while others followed blindly, failing to understand the reasoning and weaknesses that underpinned them, and fell prey to the inadequacies of their predecessors’ customs. Still other generations rejected those who came before, some with remarkable success and some with incredible misfortune. This is the tale of Western Civilization, full of tragedy and glory. The greatest western cultures borrowed the wisdom from the societies and generations that preceded them, while refining the shortcomings with the hopes of providing a greater whole for posterity to inherit. Much of this wisdom lay in discerning the responsibilities an individual had concerning himself and concerning others. The Greeks learned from their fathers the value of pursuing personal excellence, but fell prey to a crippling cultural arrogance. The Romans took the Greek ethic and yoked it to the state, calling its citizens to a life of duty and honor, but eventually crumbled under the weight of corrupt ambition. Finally, Christendom arose from the murk of the Dark Ages with order and love, but laid the groundwork for inequity and imperialism. The modern world, following these injustices, has broken away from the Western Tradition. Despite flying the flag of progress, much of modernity has in fact regressed by rejecting the foundational developments of the Greeks, Romans, and Christians and returning to a more primitive value system.
The cornerstone of the Greek ethos was best described as arete, a Greek word which encompassed any and all forms of excellence, but which was used by Homer and others to denote personal excellence in particular. Arete embodied the ethos of what a truly heroic Greek ought to be and do. Homer’s Iliad devotes itself entirely to exploring the fullness of arete in one individual: Achilleus. Achilleus, as the nucleus around whom the whole tale turns, is clearly Homer’s archetype of a Greek hero. His physical prowess and capacity for destruction are unparalleled throughout the tome. Fagles’s rich translation of the first line, “Rage—Goddess, sing the rage of Peleus’ son Achille[u]s,” hammers home the core concept which drives arete: raw, unadulterated, emotion (Homer 1.1). Achilleus is a machine of war, suited only for destruction and conquest. He constantly puts the lives of others in danger for the sake of his own arrogance. Russell Kirk, in The Roots of American Order, considers the Greeks in the context of their political influence on the Founding Fathers, but his analysis of their nature applies here as well. He writes,
The Greeks had a word for everything, we say. One of their most important words was hubris – meaning man’s overweening arrogance, at which the gods grow wrathful. And no wonder; for fierce local pride, a ruthless lust for power, and arrogant individuality run catastrophically through the Greek history. (Kirk 53)
Homer sensed this catastrophic error too. He presents Achilleus not as some man of perfect moral character, for arete cared nothing for internal perfection, but rather demonstrates the fate that would befall not only Achilleus, but also the Greek culture itself, if it were to leave the arrogance of arete unchecked.
Hubris, with all its destructive potential, is the natural weakness of arete. It is Achilleus’s pride which drives him to say to Agamemnon, the Greek ruler,
“Never, when the Achaians [Greeks] sack some well-founded citadel Of the Trojans, do I have a prize that is equal to your prize. Always the greater part of the painful fighting is the work of my hands; but when the time comes to distribute the booty
yours is far the greater reward….” (Homer [trans. Lattimore] 1.163-7)
Achilleus knows, here, that Agamemnon has full authority, as king, to divide the spoils of war as he sees fit, but Achilleus’s pride, knowing that he himself is the greatest warrior of the Greeks, drives him to rebuke his ruler. It is that same arrogance which drives the story towards the deaths of both Patroclus and Hektor, first by Achilleus’s proud negligence and then by his self-righteous fury. Hubris, then, must be considered the downfall of the Greek ideal. Arete’s incessant push for selfexcellence naturally turns the mind toward the state of itself, just as one who is devoted to exercise will become more concerned, or even obsessed, with the state of his body. This self-interest, if not balanced with humility, turns to arrogance and becomes destructive both to others and to the self. And humility was no strength of the Greeks. This of course is visible within the Iliad through
Patroclus’s and Hektor’s deaths, but it is also true of the Greek spirit as a whole. The Peloponnesian War and other civil wars that plagued Greece are clear evidence of the destructive power of unbalanced arete. Just as Kirk observed, the Greeks created an excellent society, abounding with men of achievement and skill, but it was torn asunder by the jealous in-fighting and hubristic pride that such an excellence produced.
The Romans, while equaling and sometimes surpassing the Greeks in warfare, rhetoric, and literature, were not so susceptible to the same problems. Romans believed in internal virtue before external accomplishment. Thus, their penultimate virtue, pietas, was excellence directed toward a purpose greater than personal glory. Pietas, from which English borrows ‘piety,’ bears today only the religious connotations of a word which, to the Romans, meant so much more. In its fullest form, Roman piety denotes a life of honor and selflessness. It is an excellence in service to deity, to country, and to community. Romans like Cincinnatus, Cicero, and Augustus were men of virtuous piety, but, just as with the Greeks, the quintessence of this ideal lives in the pages of epic poetry.
Aeneas was Virgil’s great hero, patriarch of the Roman people and the Roman against whom all others were measured. One of Aeneas’s crowning characteristics is his love for his people. When he comes to Carthage after a massive storm, seeking rest and resources for repairs, Aeneas quickly falls in love with the Queen, Dido. During his respite there, Aeneas agonizes over whether he ought to pursue his own desires or the best interests of his people. Eventually, with his ships repaired, he decides to forsake his newfound love, saying,
But now it is the rich Italian land
Apollo tells me I must make for: Italy,
Named by his oracles. There is my love;
There is my country. (Virgil 4.476-79)
Aeneas’s denial of his own desires stands starkly against Achilleus’s values. Gone is the rage, destructive and uncontrollable, replaced by a reverent drive, equally forceful, but more refined.
Later, in the underworld, Virgil, by way of Anchises, foretells and praises the achievements of the men who would strive to match Aeneas’s example. Here Anchises does not proclaim what great deeds these men will perform for their own glory, but what they will do for their country. He tells of Augustus, “‘[w]ho shall bring once again an age of Gold’” and Numa Pompilius “‘[w]ho will build early Rome on a base of laws’” and many more, all of whom are acclaimed for what they will do for Rome, rather than themselves (Virgil 6.1065, 6.1091). This was the ultimate connotation of pietas: one who acts for the glory and betterment of something greater than himself, whether his homeland, his family, or his deities. In this manner, the Romans tempered their own ambition for glory by yoking it to an outer source; when the city and her people thrived, so did the glory of her greatest leaders, and when she fell, so too did they. However, the development of virtue was not yet finished. Even piety, which proved more peaceful and more durable than arete, began to decay. The tethering of glory to selflessness, while it held hubris and her destruction at bay for a time, eventually reverted to a broken system based upon self-interest and personal achievement. The link between honor and power nurtured a hidden avarice for control. This hunger first manifested in the ancient Monarchy, with King Tarquinius Superbus, “Tarquin the Proud” (Livy 1.48). His selfish and tyrannical rule spurred the first Brutus, founder of the Republic, to assassinate him. Then, centuries later, the Romans, having learned little from their mistakes, witnessed Caesar cross the Rubicon, who was himself soon killed by the more famous Brutus. In another attempt at rebuilding, Augustus became the first emperor and his praises were sung by every citizen of that time and by many after. But then, after only one emperor, Rome’s preoccupation with power produced Tiberius, Caligula, Claudius, and Nero, some of the most negligent, lecherous tyrants that history has ever witnessed. Over time, the Empire grew weary and faded, and then, with its borders withering along with the pietas of its leaders, Rome itself was sacked, taking with it civility, culture, and virtue. Or so the Romans thought.
With Rome in ruins and the whole of Europe fractured into chaos, the West longed for security more than it had in centuries. This desire for order inundated the Middle Ages even after the rediscovery of Aristotle had revived Old Western thought. St. Benedict, one of the intellectual lights who led Europe out of the Dark Age and into Christendom devoted his mind to creating a structured monastic rule. In his Rule of St. Benedict, the monk argued that the “good of all concerned, however, may prompt us to a little strictness in order to amend faults and to safeguard love” (Benedict, Prologue §47). So, was the highest Medieval virtue order, or was it love? Love was clearly Benedict’s highest goal, and his mindset is supported by Scripture when Jesus speaks of loving God and others, “All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments” (English Standard Version Matt. 22:40). Dante, too, one of the greatest poets of the age, penned the last line of his magnificent Comedy in awe of love. He writes that his “will and [his] desire were turned, / as wheels that move in equilibrium, / by love that moves the sun and other stars” (Alighieri 33.143145). However, if love was the underpinning Medieval ideal, why was order so prevalent in Christendom? After all, the modern conception of a love-filled life is one of total autonomy, not one of submission to a social standard. Clearly, the Christian world viewed love differently. They believed that love must be cultivated and pruned with care. They thought that the passions of love, both romantic and fraternal, should neither become overgrown, nor be stripped out entirely. Pursuant to this, the Medieval minds believed that order was the blade which guided love on the journey from an unwieldy bush to a flowering masterpiece. In the Paradiso, Saint Bernard, speaking for Dante, addresses the Virgin Mary, “’greater than all in honor and humility,’” in a comparable manner,
‘Love, in your womb, was fanned to fire again.
And here, in this eternal peace, the warmth of love Has brought the Rose to germinate and bloom.
You are, for us, the noon-time torch of love.’ (Alighieri 33.2, 33.7-10)
Dante is here praising Mary, saying that it is her abundant love which allowed the Immaculate Conception to occur. But what “’fanned to fire’” this love (Alighieri 33.7)? It is her “’eternal peace’” brought about by her incomparable “’honor and humility’” which lays the foundation for her incalculable love (Alighieri 33.8, 33.2). Thus, Dante supports in poetry that which Benedict argued in simple prose. Love is the greatest virtue, but it requires an orderly life to bloom fully.
This dialectic between love and order in many ways represents a unification first sought by arete and then by pietas. Arete first tried, weakly, to bind heart to action, but its emphasis on individual action led to hubris and then to destruction for both the hero and the ones around him. Pietas hit closer to the mark. It pulled the focus away from the individual and towards a greater purpose, but even this crumbled and darkness fell. The Christians struggled to tear themselves from the Dark Age and succeeded by instituting order everywhere they could. They created incredibly strong governmental systems and even firmer moral expectations. For many years the monks were bastions of self-control and refined love. Kings, at their best, were benevolent caretakers, devoted to the safety and security of their subjects, acting with wisdom and restraint. The order of
Christendom produced a safe-haven where love could thrive. And so it did. With this secure space, and a strong moral system, the citizens of Christendom created works of unsurpassed beauty in poetry and architecture and even in humbler trades. But the golden light of Christendom, like the Greeks and Romans before, would not last. That once gentle, pruning blade of order was transformed into the biting weapon of tyranny. Monks and the clergy grew selfish, taking advantage of their positions for their own gain. Even Benedict saw such monks when he wrote his Rule (1.61.13). Kings turned into greedy, indulgent despots, concerned only with their own desires. These corrupted ideals penetrated beyond the Middle Ages, surviving as far as early Modern Imperialism and the Enlightenment, when a subtler fall took place.
The rise of the Enlightenment was the first significant step away from the Medieval ideals of love and order, even if they had grown gaunt over the years. Following the corruption and injustice which proceeded from the late Middle Ages, the Enlightenment thinkers called for a return to nature and a step away from the corrosive force of arbitrary society, essentially seeking to reconstruct society from the ground up. They believed that man, on his own, acted in perfect morality and harmony, but that when he was introduced to a society, full of contrary and conflicting values, he was corrupted into a creature of cruelty, subject to the most evil impulse: to encroach on another’s free will for the sake of his own gain. One of the clearer examples of this sentiment is laid out in the poetry of Thomas Gray. In the final lines of “Elegy written in a Country Churchyard,” he exalts the virtues of a life led close to nature, kept pure from the ambitions and evils of society. The last lines of the poem are an epitaph to a youth, which read,
Here rests his head upon the lap of Earth
A Youth to Fortune and to Fame unknown.
Fair Science frown'd not on his humble birth,
And Melancholy mark'd him for her own.
Large was his bounty, and his soul sincere
Heav'n did a recompense as largely send:
He gave to Mis'ry all he had, a tear,
He gain'd from Heav'n ('twas all he wish'd) a friend.… (Gray 117-121)
Gray, like his contemporaries, praised the simple life lived in intimacy with nature, emphasizing emotional authenticity over the ambition and glory associated with a more urban lifestyle. The attempts by the French to reconstruct everything from politics to the calendar serves, perhaps, as an even more blatant example of this reversal of convention. The French Revolution, the logical result of Enlightenment philosophy, stands as one of the primary catalysts of modern political, social, and philosophical thought. After this point, America, along with the British Empire and other major powers, began to take up this seemingly new and superior value system. The three centuries that followed have been marked by the rise of Enlightenment values. Locke’s writings on Natural Law, seminal pieces of Enlightenment thought, created the groundwork for the fall of slavery as well as the beginnings of the Feminist and Civil Rights movements. Following the triumphs of the 15th and 19th Amendments and the Civil Rights Act, it seemed that liberal Progressivism, the socio-political manifestation of Enlightenment beliefs, was an unqualified success.
While it is easy to see and celebrate the accomplishments of the past centuries, modern citizens have a responsibility to examine their current values and, especially, their current weaknesses in the context of historical wisdom. The belief that any society can truly start from scratch, as the Enlightenment proponents sought to do, is naïve and foolish. To reject the wisdom provided by history’s collective successes and failures would result in repeating the same mistakes over again, accomplishing nothing. In this way, Progressivism is, in fact, regressive. The modern world seems to think that the best and most ‘progressive’ way forward, is to dig away the foundation upon which Western Civilization has thrived. Even now, the culture seems to have regressed, circling back to the beginning of Western development. The Progressive emphasis on individualism today bears a far greater resemblance to Greek ideals than those of Rome or Christendom. Modernity is marked by deep divides both politically and socially. The 2016 U.S. election demonstrates more arete-like infighting and hubristic spite than pious loyalty or loving respect. Constant, heated protests between radicals from both Right and Left mar American universities and streets. Even foreign threats, manifested in the exponential increase in terrorism, bear witness to the divides that the modern world faces. The positive cultural emphases on self-discovery and self-expression, both inherently emotional pursuits, also bear a close resemblance to the passion of more primitive, arete-driven times.
If America and the rest of the Western world insists on rejecting its own history by taking up primitive, ineffectual ideals of the self once more, it is destined to meet the same demise as Greece did. This does not mean that all Progressive values must be rejected. To the contrary, new ideas ought to be examined with the combined wisdom of both modern and past experience. The cathedral of past thought ought to be expanded upon and revised, not demolished entirely. Every society has a fatal flaw. One might even consider America and the West fortunate that they have so clear an example upon which to look. If Western thinkers can manage to reconcile their modern longings for equality and individualism with the lessons which arete, pietas, and love offer, this generation may well experience an age of light and peace that has never been seen before. But one thing is certain: if no change is made, the modern West is fated to repeat the same tragic mistakes as their forefathers, and to suffer the same painful consequences.
Works Cited
Alighieri, Dante. Paradiso. The Divine Comedy: Inferno, Purgatorio, Paradiso. Trans. Robin Kirkpatrick. Penguin. 2012. Print.
Benedict. The Rule of St. Benedict. Trans. Timothy Fry. The Liturgical Press, 1981. Print.
The Bible. English Standard Version, Good News Publishers. 2003.
Gray, Thomas. “Elegy Written in a Country Churchyard.” The Oxford book of English verse, ed. A. T. Quiller-Couch, 1250–1900, 453. Oxford: Clarendon. 1919. Bartleby.com, 1999. . Accessed 23 Jun. 2017. Web.
Homer. The Iliad. Trans. Robert Fagles. Penguin, 1990. Print.
Homer. The Iliad. Trans. Richmond Lattimore, University of Chicago Press, 2011. Print.
Kirk, Russell. The Roots of American Order. Fourth Edition, Intercollegiate Studies Institute. 2014. Print.
Livy. The Early History of Rome. Trans. Aubrey De Sélincourt. Penguin, 2002. Print.
Virgil. The Aeneid. Trans. Robert Fitzgerald. Random House, 1990. Print.
Analysis of a Text: "The Stuff of Nightmare: Examining Social Fears from Beowulf to The Dark Knight"
One of the hallmarks of early British literature is the epic poem Beowulf. In this brooding ode to heroism, the author of the poem presents grotesque embodiments of the greatest fears his culture faced, namely the mindless and incessant violence of the times and the ravaging greed and need for control of many in power. He (or she) embodies these two evils and the fear they inspire in the forms of Grendel and a vicious dragon. Despite all the advances of modern times, we are still unable to escape these fears ourselves. Even in the modern day, Americans are gripped by intense concerns over random violence and the all too watchful eye of the government.
The author of Beowulf creates Grendel as the ultimate vehicle of violence. She/he introduces Grendel not by his name, but as “a powerful demon, a prowler through the dark” (85). The author does not stop here, but continues, calling Grendel “a fiend out of hell” (Beowulf 100). King Hrothgar himself “sat stricken and helpless… in deep distress” after his first encounter with the beast (Beowulf 130, 133). Even today, the thought of such a vile creature inspires a sense of awe and dread. As the tale continues, Grendel begins “marauding round the heath” before “set[ting] out / for the lofty house” of King Hrothgar (Beowulf 115-6). This meandering hunt superlatively reflects the chaotic violence of Dark Age Europe. War sprang up at a moment’s notice and, like Grendel, took many lives before anyone even knew it was there. It is precisely this chthonic chaos that inspires such fear in Hrothgar’s men and the poet’s readers. Grendel’s rampage demonstrates the culture’s pervasive fear of unpredictable violence, a fear which could only be assuaged by Beowulf’s heroic actions. After assisting Hrothgar, Beowulf heads home with great treasure and rules his own country well. It is only near the end of his life that he faces a beast rivaling Grendel’s darkness.
Many years pass after the events in Hrothgar’s hall, and Beowulf takes the throne of Geatland. In his last days, a final threat, this time to his own nation, rears its head. Like Grendel did to Hrothgar years before, a new threat, a dragon, wreaks havoc on Beowulf’s people. The poet illuminates the dragon’s wrath as he
…began to belch out flames
And burn bright homesteads; there was a hot glow
That scared everyone, for the vile sky-winger
Would leave nothing alive in his wake. (Beowulf 2312-5)
What drives the dragon to this action? A single “gold-plated cup” is stolen from his burrow (Beowulf 2282). This immense over-reaction sheds some light on the dragon’s nature. He “is driven to hunt out / hoards underground, to guard heathen gold / through age-long vigils…” (Beowulf 2276-8). He exerts immense control over his possessions, and when even one trinket is stolen from his vast hoard, the dragon thrashes out in uncontrollable rage. This villain, too, embodies a deep fear within the culture. The people feared not only the avarice of their rulers, which was abundant in a time of “treasure-giver[s],” but they also feared the unnecessary and paranoid control that these leaders exerted over their people in order to protect their riches (Beowulf 2311). When we look back at this time with a modern eye, it can seem as though the fears so prevalent in Beowulf’s time are a bad dream of the past, long since wiped away by the rationality and civility of the modern day. The truth is that these fears are much more pervasive than they seem.
Dystopian literature has become vastly popular in recent years. The success of books like The Hunger Games demonstrates this. So, what evils do dystopian authors offer us? They display worlds without freedom, without any choice at all. Take Suzanne Collins’s The Hunger Games. She crafts a world of total subjugation, where children are forced to compete in a battle to the death, which the government televises nationally. The state builds an arena for these Hunger Games in which no one can hide from a camera. On top of that, the architects of the games have complete control over the environment, to better orchestrate conflict. But this fear of control is not new; George Orwell’s 1984 places the reader in a world of total observation and both physical and mental subjection. Readers find this pan-optical world so unnerving because of the lack of autonomy it provides. The information leaked by Edward Snowden, the recent revelations of the N.S.A.’s data gathering, and the general hostility toward nations with intrusive governments all provide the touch of realism that makes these works even more potent. This fear may have a new and modern face, but it is ultimately little different from the fear of the dragon’s careful gaze. As citizens, we can sometimes feel as though we are the hoard that the dragon watches incessantly and fear the power and control which our draconic government exerts. Interestingly enough, modern society seems to fear the inverse of this control as well.
Even before Christopher Nolan’s The Dark Knight was released, the Joker was feared by many a comic fan. But his film portrayed so sinister and chaotic a villain that he has been emblazoned in the minds of all of modern America. But what makes him so frightening to us? He is a force of pitiless chaos, and, indeed, his unpredictability unnerves me every time I watch. But the cultural fear of disorder takes form in other ways. Take, for example, Steven Spielberg’s Saving Private Ryan. The film begins on D-Day and it is not an easy scene to watch. Spielberg forces viewers to observe the true horror of war. Men lie on the beach, limbs severed and organs spilled. But what adds even more to the scene, is its utter confusion. Each man is just as likely to take a bullet as another while they scramble to find any shred of cover. Like the helpless men of Heorot Hall fleeing Grendel’s wrath, they try to find any semblance of safety they can against the unpredictable hail of bullets. Even this fear, tragically, exists outside the realm of fiction. The rise of ISIS, the inexplicability of mass shootings and terrorism at everyday places like Pulse Nightclub and the London Bridge, and the randomness of horrors like 9/11 foster such fears in the hearts of every American.
Society not only fears completely losing their freedom, but also, inversely, crumbling into anarchy. The violence and resulting increase in surveillance that plague America and other nations do nothing but promote these fears. No aspect of society can be summarized so swiftly, but, despite the many other fears our society faces, few are so primal or so widespread. The fear of unpredictable violence and subjugation have beset every generation. This is a tragic, but unavoidable fact. It is a part of human nature to fear, just as there is a part of human nature which produces the objects of our fears. The true sign of wisdom and civility is not the demolition of these fears in our society, but rather our ability to live with them and to fight, like Beowulf wrestling with Grendel, to overcome them. It would be unrealistic to anticipate that someday these trepidations would fade away, but it is not too much to hope that, one day, our fears might not control us.
Works Cited
Beowulf, a New Verse Translation. Trans. Seamus Heaney. Norton & Company, 2000. Print.
Writer’s Choice
Websites are a great many things to a great many people. To some they are a tool for selling or connecting. To others they are a way to teach and to convince. For me, though, my personal website is a way to process, a way to think. It’s ironic that I should use such a public tool for such a personal goal, but it really does help me. I’m a visual thinker and a verbal processer, so both images and words are very important to me. On my site, I use both of these to explore and ruminate on my ideas and beliefs. I take the time to try to express them coherently and convincingly, not so much for others as for myself. It’s not that the public nature of my writing is unimportant (if it were I would just keep my writing to myself), but instead I use the openness of the internet to keep myself in check. The open nature which the online world brings forces me to make sure my ideas are firmly founded before I post them, but it also gives me some amount of anonymity and freedom to express my ideas as I see them. In many ways, it’s a double-edged sword.
I’ve found that my generation is often too complacent and too willingly supports whoever shouts the loudest or whoever makes the most compelling emotional appeals. With my writing, I want to encourage anyone who may stumble upon my site, not necessarily to change their opinions to the ‘right’ ones, but to pursue the truth with thoughtful consideration. I’m tired of seeing Republicans and Democrats parrot out the party line because it will get them donors and votes. I’m sickened when I see the evil lurking behind movements like the Alt-right and Antifa. I want to see my culture changed into one more like that of the Founding Fathers’ time, when everyone, while they certainly didn’t agree with one another, were considerate and thoughtful enough to balance their logic and their emotions. They ultimately wanted the country to change for the good of everyone, not just for themselves or those who agreed with them or who looked like them.
I don’t pretend to know everything, or to even be well practiced in this thoughtfulness I want to see in myself and others. That goes back to my personal reasons behind my site. I want to learn thoughtfulness myself, not simply preach it. So, I write. But I also post photos, so what does that have to do with anything? I don’t believe you need to be some stoic to discover truth. In fact, I think there can often be truth in intangible things like beauty and sorrow and anger and love. I don’t think these things should outweigh reason, but I also don’t think they should be wholly neglected either. As humans, we contain a natural divide. We long for truth which is concrete, indomitable in the face of our fears and our opponents. But we also long for things we cannot see. We desire love and friendship and escape from mundanity. So, I write and I create. I think and I feel. And, while I know I am no Plato or Ansel Adams, I do this in the hope that I can make a change in both myself and others, so that we can find in our futures a world with fewer threats and smaller divides, but no less filled with mysterious wonder and profound truth.
You can find my website here: